|Steve Jobs' Ego Watches Over Steve Jobs|
Why should we care what happens to Steve Jobs when Steve Jobs is dead? The iPad is so much better than reality it's like not even funny. If that in itself is not enough to assure immortality, I don't what the heck is.
All iPad users will now be automatically enrolled in a lottery wherein each winner, with 999 other Jobs acolytes, will be entombed with Jobs for all Eternity. Thereby they will be able to serve him in Heaven (for example, when he needs someone to scream at) where he will no doubt be a very very major demigod of some sort, with the ability to intercede on the behalf on iPhone users with dropped coverage, provided that the proper sacrifices and ritual offerings/oblations have been made to Him, The Great Steve.