Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Hi, I'm Larry Mantle! I Agree That Everyone's Point of View Is Valid. Unless I Disagree.

In My Opinion, Truth Is Dead

Wow, things are so crazy these days what with NPR listeners disappearing faster than salmon after mating season! And have you noticed many, many people have opinions which are not completely substantiated by empirical evidence?  But since I'm obviously the only objective person left in the media--I'm the perfect person to host this show!

First of all, the best way to do this is have two polar examples, just like they do in the cable network news I'm bitching about. Although Rachel Maddow doesn't do that, nor does Keith Olbermann. But the premise of this program is that one is the mirror of the other, and I'm not going to question that premise or respond to listeners who do question it. This program is about THEIR objectivity, NOT mine.

What's that you say? You say that conservatives are more prone to lying? Well, you do have a RIGHT to say that, but the conservatives also have a VALID counterargument: That "Death Panels" are REAL, and therefore, perfectly justified in using these emotional-button-pushing to elicit the desired reaction of fear and rage from their constituents.  Calling these liberal Panels of Death as 'a rational approach to medical care in a world of limited and non-finite resources', as Congress is did, is liberal propaganda. Did you know that there are some very good arguments as to why we should not abolish slavery? And besides, aren't diseases the Will of the Divine? Should we be interfering with His Divine Will by countermanding it with antibiotics?  And conservatives are completely justified in hating taxes while at the same time hating any limits placed on their U.S. Goverment-provided benefits.   Trying to provide some sort of rational basis for medical treatment simply introduces liberal-elitism and science and empirical evidence into an argument that is really about getting votes--and the last thing America wants or needs is facts.

Furthermore--how dare an atheist come on my show and talk about the separation of Church and State? This is America buddy, not the USSR.  I shall be forced to use my highest-pitched whine on such individuals.

I'm Larry Mantle and I've pretty much stopped making sense. Which is, after all, for liberal elitists who wish to defy His Majestic Providence in any case.

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