Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Harry Mantle And The Magical Choice Machine

Welfare Queen Sighting
On KPCC's Airtalk with
Larry Mantle
Great fantasy tale broadcast on a local NPR outlet, KPCC in Los Angeles. Wasn't aware that there was a large young-adult demographic listening to the public radio on a weekday, but you just never know. I mean, these people in radio must know what they're doing, or they wouldn't be in radio. Makes sense if you think about it.

"Many people can't feed their children!" cried the woman, who claimed to be some sort of social services employee. Harry, however, could easily guess that she was in fact a subversive apparatchik of COMINTERN. He always knew, because any mention of social injustice always triggered his magical supply-side ring. It now glowed eerily, warning of the presence of the worst demon of them all: The welfare queen.
Harry knew that there was only one thing to do, which he had never successfully done before: Cast the long, difficult CHOICE spell!
"You know what?", asked Harry of the woman. "These poor miserable wretches could simply use
the magical power of CHOICE. Look at my choices: I chose parents who would spend money and time to educate me, never knowing that the product of their investment would choose to be a self-centered tub of lard who uses his 'show' to give completely ignorant advice and opinions about nutrition and the cost of healthy food, or the global warming, or economics, or pretty much anything that hasn't been part of the Republican party line since the Social Security Act of 1935. I maintain my employment by exercising my choice to have no original thoughts of my own but simply use my show to create a patina of centrist moderation over the same old brutal policies. You don't think the the establishment here at KPCC actually wants to change anything for the unwashed masses, do you? Needless to say, none of those choices involve riding a bicycle."
Harry Mantle went on: "I also exercise my prerogative not to have been born an African-American or a non-native speaker. That makes it much easier to remain blissfully unaware of the advantages of my generation had during the rise in equality following WW2 and the inequality voted in by people of my generation as we decided to do anything but worry about ourselves and screw the future generations and uh oh here comes global warming and we're all fucked. I'm old and nearly dead so screw you future kids, hey I got mine and I'm out of here, but first you get to pay an immigrant to diaper my ass the last 30 years of my life, you're welcome."
And just like that, the subversive equality demon vanished, and the imbalance of supply and demand was restored. 

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Believe In The Free Market And The Free Market Will S̶e̶l̶l̶ Believe In You

In China’s Modern Economy, a Retro Push Against Women - NYTimes.com

China is often held up as a model for women in Asia. Women made great strides in the early decades of Communist rule, and the government has taken pains to portray women as equal to men, starting with Chairman Mao’s declaration that women “hold up half the sky.”
More recently, as China has shifted to a market economy, admiring reports of “wonder women,” often promulgated by state media, suggest that Chinese women have made it in business.
Continue reading the main story 

Room for Growth

Inside the top 300 companies in China, women make up fewer than one in 10 board members.
Share of women on corporate boards
CAC 40
FTSE 100
S.&P./ASX 200
United States
S.&P. 500
European Union
610 listed companies
CSI 300
BSE 200
TOPIX Core 30
But the economic boom that has created opportunities for women has also fostered a resurgence of long-repressed traditional values. More and more men and women say a woman’s place is in the home, wealthy men take mistresses in a contemporary reprise of the concubine system, and pressure for women to marry young is intense. In the office, Socialist-era egalitarianism has been replaced by open sexism, in some cases reinforced by the law.

Mrs. Jeb Bush Is An Utterly Uninteresting Person And Has Never Murdered Anyone That We Know Of

Bush Spouse Backs Jeb, but Is Wary of Family Business - NYTimes.com

Fascinating. I learned absolutely nothing. I think I'm ready to become a journalist now.

You Can't Sell Your Soul If You've Never Had One

"You can buy me for about
this much. Super cheap."
Deeper Ties to Corporate Cash for a Doubtful Climate Scientist - NYTimes.com

Only a crazed liberal fiend (i.e. anyone who disagrees with me) would be crazy enough to think that a mere undisclosed $1.2 million smackers (American) in exchange for 'deliverables' would influence a man's thinking. Certainly not mine. Unless they're in Kruggerands. Never say never to gold, when civilization ends, I'll be ready. With the first and only AR-15 made of solid gold. It's a sporting rifle. If you think hunting human beings is a 'sport'.

--jonathan livingston constitutionalist seagull


Mosul Residents Eagerly Anticipate Spring Battle Festival

Battle to Retake Iraqi City Looms as Test of Obama’s ISIS Strategy - NYTimes.com

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Just Looking For A Place Where I Will Never Hear Of Another Men Versus Women Versus Time Spent On Housework

If you hate housework, take my advice: Don't buy a house.




In a world torn apart by contrasting worldviews due to unquestioning ethnocentrism, one man stands alone...Jeebus H. Christ.

And this time, it's personal.




Please Enjoy This Nice Shiny New Post Before The Novelty Fades And You Are Dead

Oh, hello. Didn't see you there. Good morning. I have something for you.
Here is a nice, new, shiny blog post for you, world. Please enjoy it. Enjoy it while it lasts. Enjoy it before it transmutes into a dull, faded memory, crumbling as it recedes in Time's cruel and relentless, ever-forward march into the Great Entropy...

...which shall consume us all into an undifferentiated nothingness, our minuscule blips on the radar of existence vanishing forever.

You're welcome.


Sunday, February 1, 2015

Asshole Reminding Everyone That He's Married To Olivia Wilde

Jason Sudeikis Reveals His Unique Valentine's Day Plans for Olivia Wilde - ABC News

Anti-stalking expert Harry Fletcher accused of stalking by colleague Laura Richards | Daily Mail Online

Anti-stalking expert Harry Fletcher accused of stalking by colleague Laura Richards | Daily Mail Online

Actual photo of phone call of him calling her number for the 33rd time today and asking if hey laura, still checking to see if you're busy for lunch because it's already 11:45 now and you really needs to call back soon if you want to meet me in the cafeteria because hey you didn't call me earlier because if you had I could have made reservations, well I guess you're not picking up because maybe you were murdered or abducted or somesuch?
The 34th call came from the cafeteria at precisely 12:01pm as he was standing in line with a chicken salad and a cup of hot tea while still listening to her phone ring and how can voicemail ever be full with all those free gigs they give you at Google, I'd better send her an interoffice memo. Screw it I'll send her a postcard. In person. Might just slide it under the door though because you're never home when I come by Laura! Who are you with you whore, dammit I love you!