Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Douthat's Credibility Gap

Ross Douthat on Libya: "Does it matter that Obama’s words don’t really seem to match his administration’s actions?"


I can only imagine that the above statement was intended as a joke and we should all enjoy a good laugh.

(To explain the joke, we would have to dig through the fossil records of the Right Wing Apologetics belonging to the catastrophe of that era generally referred to as 'The Bush Years'; and, in the utter absence of any outrage [that this humble rodent can recall] perceivable by any of the rightie-partisans regarding aforementioned catastrophic era, we must conclude (once again) that these Right Wingers are at best self-deluded fools--and at worst, partisan hypocrites without an ounce of self-reflexive capacity.  I'm not sure either one bodes well for the nation.)



Desind: To remove or retract a statement by lowering it via rope into a well.

Demove: To unmove an object.

Unmove: To demove or to participate in the act of demoving.

Smartenate: The opposite of dumbenate.

Resmartenate: When something is de-dumbenated.

Dedumbenation: To be engaged in the act of resmartenating.

De-educate: (a) The opposite of re-educate; (b) to remove education, such as, "He forgot his education today."

Supereducated: Something Superman does.


What Is "The Daily Mail"?



Driving On The Right Or Driving To Communism?

Memoiranda: I Fucked John-John, I Fucked A Lot Of Guys Who Used To Be Famous, And Other Rancid Shit Committed To Print

Have you screwed anyone famous? Perhaps several of them? Perhaps that guy wasn't even famous for doing anything except for being the scion of a rich and famous family. So what? Apparently a publisher will pay good money for the story.(As long as it's true, of course.) One can only conclude, therefore, that being buggered by as many famous men as possible pays. And we are talking American dollars, not Canadian.

In addition, always make sure to at least hint that your dreams were frustrated because you were a woman living in the fifties--even if your only dream was to be impregnated by Ernest Hemingway. Because somehow the most oppressive life you could have possibly lead was to be a married woman in 1955 America, even if you lived in Manhattan and never wanted for a meal or a roof over your head.  

Not like my grandmother who worked was a widower who worked in a laundromat until she retired on Social Security.

BizzaroVision - Graham On Greta

Risky Business in Libya - Fox News Video -

Senator Lindsey Graham treads into BizarroVision by not marching inlock-step with Fox News by dismissing the idea that Al Queda [or insert your favorite Islamic terrorist group here] is set to take over Libya. As if that wasn't strange enough, he refused to disparage Obama for intervening in Libya. Not only did he support the intervention but said that Daffi 'must go.' Or something like that.


Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Day I Lost All Credibility As Being Anything More Than A Partisan Hack


Probably it was the day I wrote this: 
In its month-long crab walk toward a military confrontation with Libya’s Muammar el-Qaddafi, the Obama administration has delivered a clinic in the liberal way of war.
Now you might say, 'Hey, Douthat, you'd never say that about Shrubya.'  Not true.  Fact is, I was very critical of his conduct of the war--I recommended winning and Shrubbie kept losing.  Till finally we won by not losing so much as just plain leaving.  And now Iraq is a virtual paradise of a sham democracy.  

So lookie here, Obama: We do want not our presidents to act carefully and thoughtfully, weighing the risks and the benefits or considering the humanitarian issues at stake.  We do want our presidents to act boldly, impulsively, even stupidly--as long as they do it without asking anyone else. (Especially not France.) 

"Why?" asks the liberal Stanlinist-wanna-bes of the New York Times.  Simple.  Because if our nation can't bomb anyone anytime in the name of made-up national security, then who am I?  Just some aging balding twat. But as long as America can toss its bombs where ever it likes, I'm special.  Is it any wonder I hate Roosevelt so much?  You don't ask the British what they want to do--you just tell them.  And if they don't do what you want, you bomb them too.  But most importantly, if there's any way for any Republican operative to attack any Obama, he must attack.  It's just the way things are.  

I think that's what America is all about.  After all, it's not how pointless the war or the body count--it's about how it's done. (In other words, it ought to be done like two boys playing with plastic toy soldiers; not by a committee of people asking a lot of stupid questions about 'exit stategy this' and 'made-up intelligence that'.)


Friday, March 25, 2011

"Elizabeth Taylor Really Dead This Time," Says Ash Williams


The Smug Advantage


There’s something I’ve always wondered about myself, David Brooks: How does a guy who seems to be only marginally attached to reality manage to have a column in the most prestigious newspaper in the nation?
I give rambling, fact-less remarks at media outlets such as PBS and NPR. My head is stuffed with oddball conspiracy theories and strange obsessions, such as Asian-Jewish meritocrats from Ivy League schools subverting the Real America.  (How do you know if your a Real American? You have diabetes and you agree with everything I, David Brooks, say.  Such as the definition of Real Americans.) I show up in odd places, even the Colbert Report, persisting in the delusion that anyone takes my ideas about human nature seriously.
I would like to abolish all government ministries except Defense, Internal Security and a few others--provided these are run by a Republican.  
But perhaps there is a method in my madness.  Perhaps, these are the actions of a cold, calculating Machiavellian. David Brooks  can’t simply dismiss David Brooks as a comic loon. He’s maintained dominance in a ruthless part of the world, and he may outlast the current shambolic attempts to unseat him.
It seems that there is something advantageous in the megalomania that is David Brooks' defining lifelong trait. No matter how crazy and freaky and just plain idiotic I sound, I just keep showing up over and over, all in the name of a 'balanced perspective'.  
Take my latest book, for example: It's filled with oddball notions and banal assertions. It consists of three parts: “Why David Brooks Is Always Right Somehow"; “Why Everyone Else Is Wrong If They Don't Agree With David Brooks”; and several chapters on how to draw elves and pixies in order to create your own graphic novel.
David Brooks apparently wrote the book with the conviction that he had discovered the answers to all human problems, which he calls the First Universal Modesty. In a characteristically absolutist passage, he writes, “I, David Brooks, cannot recall ever having made an error in judgement.  And if I did recall it you would be certain that I would never remember having recalled it.”
Along the way he offers banal observations as if nobody had ever thought of them before. He reveals that people have two legs. David Brooks unveils doctrines that have nothing to do with how David Brooks actually behaves: “I am not a smug know-it-all.  I just look, talk, and act like one.”
David Brooks seems to be one of those people who believes he possesses absolute truth, who wants to impose David Brooks' thoughts on everybody else and exercise total dominance over others.
Over the decades, he has tried to remake the world in his own Modest Image. 

Yet this very megalomania seems to be both the secret to his longevity and to his unhinged nature. 

The paradoxical fact is that if you want to stay in the punditry biz, it is better to be a narcissistic self-deluded madman. Megalomaniacs such as David Brooks are untroubled by doubt or concern for the good opinion of others since they already possess absolute truth. They are motivated to fulfill their World Historical Mission and have no interest in peace, justice, or social equality.  Rather, the goal of lunatics such as myself (David Brooks) is to yap on endlessly about their pointless and all-too-often patently false disquisitions about "culture", "cultural differences" and so on, without ever being able to discern the basic fact that there are personal differences that shape and drive the lives of others.  No, it is just too convenient for me, David Brooks, to be the culture war whore I've been since my first book. (Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.)
Jeane Kirkpatrick was right years ago when she said, "Oh my god, David Brooks is on the phone again?  Jesus Christ."


Thursday, March 24, 2011

Battle For LA: Whelming

"...Not one that is completely in need of avoidance by the filmgoing public."

Obama Designates Entire State Of Nevada As Nuclear Waste Dump

President Obama surprised Nevadans by declaring their entire state an "emergency toxic waste site suitable for disposal of all manner of waste, including chemical, radioactive, and biological materials."  No one outside of Nevada appeared to be surprised by this remark.

Even his fiercest critics, such as Republican representative Michelle Bachmann, could barely muster a shrug of their shoulders.  "Well I would have gone with New Jersey," she stated to reporters, " but what ya gonna do?"

Currently there are no plans to evacuate any Nevadans out of Nevada.  Commented the president, "Well, if they're there, they probably deserve it."


Childhood: I Grew Up But My Tapeworm Grew Old


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

It's Easier To Count The Bodies After The Genocide

Dr. Prurient T.
Logicus, Prof. of
Simian Theology,
University of Bobo,
New Ape City
Pish-posh, Libya schmibya, Rwanda, um...Rwanda.  Look, if we start adding up the corpses of the innocent before they're even corpses, we are in for a long slog.  Because you know how these things work: "Oh, the Turks wiped out my clan," or "the Nazis killed my everyone in my village."  Well boo-hoo! We've all got problems people.

Well let me tell you folks--things were different then.  During the Second World War, the Nazis even went so far as to call themselves 'Nazis', so back then it was pretty easy to figure out who the real Nazis were. (Answer: The Nazis.)  But things are different and  more complicated now.  The real Nazis could be anyone from Obama to Theodore Roosevelt to Richard Nixon--no one knows!

Besides, how are we even supposed to know if there's going to be a massacre before the massacre occurs?  The sensible approach is to wait until the massacre is over.  Then all we have to do is some simple arithmetic (for example, 1 + 1 + 1 +1 + 1.....= 1 million), experience some mild guilt when they make the movie with Don Cheadle and George Clooney, and wonder if anyone could have done anything.  It's much cheaper and  who cares about humans anyway?  And if you're too much of a dirty hippie to construe ramming a cruise missle up the ass of North Africa as a hostile gesture, well that's exactly what a dirty hippie would say.

Yours In His Simian Majesty,
Dr. Prurient T. Logicus


William J. Stuntz, Influential Legal Scholar, Is Dead at 52 -

William J. Stuntz, Influential Legal Scholar, Is Dead at 52 -

William J. Stuntz, an influential legal scholar known for his counterintuitive insights, who blamed liberal judges, conservative legislators and ambitious prosecutors for what he saw as a criminal justice system that imprisons far too many people, died on Tuesday at his home in Belmont, Mass. He was 52.
His family announced the death, which followed three years of treatment for metastatic colon cancer.
Though Mr. Stuntz, a professor at Harvard Law School, advised public officials and wrote often in the popular press, his greatest influence was with legal scholars. After he burst on the scene in the 1980s with a flurry of fresh ideas and interpretations, “you saw a snowballing of references to him,” said Daniel C. Richman, a professor at Columbia Law School.
Justice Elena Kagan of the United States Supreme Court said in an interview Friday that Mr. Stuntz’s work was “impossible to pigeonhole,” despite his self-professed conservative inclinations.
“What was fascinating about him was that everybody read him and listened to him and took seriously what he said,” said Justice Kagan, who worked with Mr. Stuntz when she was dean of Harvard Law School. Scholars came to call his ideas “Stuntzian,” she said.
Mr. Stuntz looked at criminal law as a collection of “pathologies,” beginning with the Supreme Court’s decisions to give greater protections to people charged with crimes. State legislatures responded to those rulings with laws that toughened sentencing and defined crime more broadly, leading to more jail time and more arrests, disproportionately affecting the poor and minorities.
But Mr. Stuntz said the legislatures neglected to appropriate enough money to deal with the added arrests, particularly for public defenders and others paid by the government to defend the indigent. Adding to the focus on the poor, he said, was prosecutors’ reluctance to bring to trial people who could afford lawyers and who could employ the new court-ordered constitutional protections.
Prosecutors then used their discretion to negotiate guilty pleas with public defenders. The prosecutors could sift through the broader array of criminal charges and sentences passed by legislators to make deals, taking many of what Mr. Stuntz called “easy guilty pleas.”
One result was the sort of paradox he loved to illuminate. “Ever since the 1960s, the right has argued that criminal procedure frees too many of the guilty,” he wrote in The Yale Law Journal in 1997. “The better criticism may be that it helps to imprison too many of the innocent.”
Mr. Richman said Mr. Stuntz believed that an equally worrisome problem was that the essential question of guilt or innocence could get lost. For trials of people who can afford lawyers, questions of procedure can supersede substance. Plea deals made by the poor are often just that — deals — even though the convicted person has to admit guilt.
Mr. Stuntz wrote for newspapers and magazines on issues beyond the law. In an article in The New Republic in 2006, he raised liberal eyebrows by saying that government could be more effective in fighting terrorism if it were less transparent and more concerned with protecting its own privacy than that of its citizens.
Carol Steiker, a Harvard law professor, said Mr. Stuntz was not only “considerably to the right of your average Harvard law professor” but also unusual at the university because he was an evangelical Christian. She said he had begun to use the word “mercy” among the “values he thought the criminal justice system should have, but didn’t.”
Even when applying Christian principles, he had surprises. In one instance he chided Christian conservatives’ demand for “originalism” in interpreting the Constitution, wondering why they did not regard this as idolatrous. He said their overwhelming identification with one party, the Republicans, had “poisoned politics in deep ways.”
William John Stuntz was born in Washington on July 3, 1958, grew up in Annapolis, Md., and graduated from the College of William and Mary and the University of Virginia School of Law. He clerked for Justice Lewis F. Powell Jr. and taught at the University of Virginia for 14 years.
“He leapt to the top of the field in the early days of his entering the law professor world,” said Martha L. Minow, the current dean of Harvard Law School.
Harvard hired him in 2000, and in 2006 he was named the Henry J. Friendly professor. This fall, Harvard University Press will publish his book “The Collapse of American Criminal Justice.” Also this fall, Cambridge University Press will publish a book of essays on the implications of his scholarship.
Mr. Stuntz is survived by his wife, Ruth; his children, Sarah Stuntz, Andrew Stuntz and Samuel Cook-Stuntz; his parents, John and Sandy Stuntz; his sister, Linda Adamson; and his brothers, Richard, Michael and David.
Mr. Stuntz wrote extensively about the chronic pain he suffered after a back injury in 1999, saying he felt better after realizing it was futile to dream of being painless. “Hopelessness turns out to be surprisingly good medicine,” he wrote.
He kept writing when he was dying of cancer, saying that he found hope in a single passage of the Book of Job. “You will call and I will answer,” Job says. “You will long for the creature your hands have made.”
Mr. Stuntz wrote, “The concept that God longs for the likes of me is so unbelievably sweet.”
This article has been revised to reflect the following correction:
Correction: March 22, 2011
An obituary on Monday about the legal scholar William J. Stuntz omitted one of three brothers who are among his survivors. Besides Richard and David, he is also survived by Michael. The obituary also misstated the title of Mr. Stuntz’s forthcoming book. It is “The Collapse of American Criminal Justice” — not “Fighting Crime: Race, Crime, and Democracy in America,” which had been a tentative title.

Elizabeth Taylor Was Alive Until Quite Recently, It Turns Out


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Kim & Kourtney Take A Shit [In New York]

Kim and Kourtney Kardashian, perhaps the most uninteresting duo to hit basic cable, have announced that they will star in a new reality-TV series in which they will defecate in or on every major landmark in NY City.  "The Kardashians plan to bring their own inimitable brand of fecal matter release in the Big Apple to the small screen," stated the press release.  The pair were unavailable for comment, having reportedly consumed massive quantities of wheat and oat bran.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Science: Depressed Polar Bear Attempts To Drown Himself

Finance: Dollar Sign Resembles A Snake Masturbating On A Street Lamp


Finance: Stocks May Rise Or Fall Depending On Circumstances


Angelina Jolie Emitting Gamma Radiation


Schism In Oprah Book Club

A walking
cash machine

Long-simmering tensions have led to a schism between devotees of the long-running Oprah reading list, or 'book club', as it is generally known.  The split, some say, began with Oprah's struggle towards self-fulfillment by not filling her gullet whenever she felt like it.  Subsequently, Oprah, having metamorphosized  into the thin celebrity she always knew was dwelling within and waiting for the fat Oprah to be starved to death, continued to issue orders to her followers.

But with the return of Fat Oprah, these followers were divided into two camps: 'Originalists' (who believed that Oprah was a constant factor in their lives, and put faith in Oprah over what the refer to as 'the veil of illusion' of physical reality), versus 'Returnees'.  The Returnees believed that the self-actualized, thin Oprah was in fact the "True Oprah".  Therefore, any instructions from Fat Oprah should be disregarded; rather, one should focus on the teachings of True Oprah, learning them by rote and practicing them in daily life, while awaiting for Her return.


Bethanny Gets Buried Alive Slated For BRAVO In 2012

The cable channel BRAVO announced an 'exciting, brand-new' series in which Bethanny Frankel will be either buried buried alive or torn limb from limb by a frenzied mob of Dionysians.

"We have a lot of great ideas for the show," said her husband, Josh. "For example, there will be a lot talk of about one of us drowning the the baby in the bathtub, but then at the last moment it will just be me taking her out with a jackhammer.  I got that idea from watching Total Recall last night at 3am while trying to numb myself with booze as I'm trapped in this hellish nightmare from which there is no escape without an insane, desperate act to restore order to the universe."

Saturday, March 19, 2011

The Power Of Believing That You've Never Made More Than A Minor Error

‎'His voice rising passionately, he said finally, “Countrywide was one of the greatest companies in the history of this country.”
Which is a final reason Mr. Mozilo would have been difficult to prosecute. Delusion is an iron-clad defense.'

So when you hold up a liquor store, just tell The Fuzz that it was actually for the benefit of all humankind.  Or whatever sounds good to you.

The GOP: Hate the bailouts, not the banks. (But bail them out.) (Also, hate Elizabeth Warren.)

Elizabeth Warren testifies
before House regarding
shrinkage of com-
mittee members
(and some stuff
about banking regulation).

Friday, March 18, 2011

Only In America, Crazy Lady

Michelle Malkin: NJ shuts down Barack Obama Elementary School

Thank you, Michelle Malkin, for making us laugh about racism again. And closing an elementary school? Well, it's a public school, and in New Jersey, so I'm sure no one there was learning a thing anyway.

And your registered users who can leave remarks on your web site about the president's race (he might be black)...delightful. Where else but America can a brown person participate in the mocking of another person because he looks 'foreign'. Yes, only in America, I'm sure can a woman who once would have been relegated to a laundromat now disparage everyone who doesn't think exactly as she does. So thank you Michelle, for showing everyone, everyday, exactly what sort of person you really are: A nasty hate-spewing bitch.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

From Now On Kathy Griffin Will Only Be Addressed As 'The Griffinator'


Some Thoughts On M. Night Shyamalan's "Devil"

This movie is extremely disturbing for the following reason: For is we are to think it is at all accurate or representative, we are forced to acknowledge Satan as having an extremely low productivity ratio.
And as we all know, this will definitely push down the price of common stock shares with a really shit price-to-earnings ratio.

Ergo, my hope for The Hoof-Footed One is a buy-out from an outside investor such as Warren Buffet, who can cut the dead weight (too much middle management, increase employee contributions to health care plans), increase efficiency--say, a better-managed database of potential customers--and thereby increase the number of souls doomed to suffer in hell for all eternity.  And all with a concomitant reduction in workload per doomed soul.

For example, there are millions of children around the world, right at this very moment, entertaining the idea of stealing candy.  What is Satan doing about that?  The answer: Nothing. The Prince of Darkness is too busy concoting (admittedly diabolical) but overly complex schemes just to trap a guy in an elevator because of some unpaid parking tickets from 1995.

But with a new management team and corporate board who will truly represent the interest of investors, Satan could proudly say that he is no longer the president of poorly managed firm stuck with a business model from ancient Babylon; but rather, an evil entity that not only corrupts humanity, but corrupts it in a highly efficient and 21st century environment.  And moreover, one which will be able to compete with emerging economies such as China and India.

Think about it, Lucifer--won't you?


Monday, March 14, 2011

Nuts To Nuclear?

  • The disaster in Japan has reminded us, among other things, that nuclear power has a downside.  Sadly, we seem to have no other options.

  • If only there were some kind of alternative energy source which we could exploit, say, moonbeams and such.
    I have also been thinking that we could harness leprechauns to a steam turbine (in fact I scribbled a design on the back of a paper napkin). However, I confess I am mos-def not an engineer--so there could be a few holes in my theory. 
    Yours In His Simian Image, 
    Dr. Prurient T. Logicus

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Wolfenblitz And Rumkrieg

You would think after all of the man-made catastrophes committed under the bratling-prince (The Shrub Who Would Be King), his viziers would have learned to retire to a quiet place of shame and SHUT THE HELL UP. If so, you thought too soon.  

Shame?  Guilt?  Remorse? These people don't know the meanings. Perhaps for these Masters of Doom And Bumble, remorse is something that only follows premature ejaculation.

No, this retinue does not fade away into that good night.  Neither do they sink below the surface, nor content themselves with floating on top of it.  Rather, they are much more like annoying shrill gophers that emerge from their tunnels, pop their heads up, and sing the the same shrill annoying song that they have been singing as long as anyone can remember.  Then just as quickly they disappear below the earth once more, and faster than you can say, "Honey we need to call the exterminator," they turn up again in another state, accepting an award from the Generic Conservative Institute For Bombing People Who Threaten Our Oil Supply.  

(Granted, gophers don't actually sing, so perhaps we should describe them more as burrowing gopher-sparrows of some sort.)  The point is not the general suckitude of this author's similes, metaphors and often pointless analogies.  The point, gentle reader, is that these burrowing-gopher-birds just need to be very very quiet and go away. Forever. 

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Jack O'Keefe Places Personal Ad, "Seeking Left-Wing Idiot For "Coffee And Conversation"

Florida Governor Describes Roads Announces Plans To Separate Florida From Continent


"He said my prostate was
about this big.

Sometimes in life we have to look back and say to ourselves, "life is so rich and so complex that no one can understand it."  So that's why I wrote my new book--to explain the ways in which we cannot understand it.  Moreover, I substantiate my book with results of research.  (Of course, getting your science on with me (Mr. Brooks) is a lot like getting advice on STDs from John Holmes.  Buyer beware.)
First  of all, let me prove that I'm a moderate by saying that some regulations are necessary.  None of the ones we have now, of course.  And even more moderately, I will cite examples of psychological research that will exonerate my ludicrous support for George Bush.
Now ordinarily, you would think, "Surely a Real American such as David Brooks would not stoop so low as to read academic journals produced by the out-of-touch-Asian-Jewish-Meritocrats-Who-Rule-America-And-Live-On-The-Public-Dole-And-Might-Even-Belong-To-Unions?"  Don't be silly. There are plenty of non-Asian-and/or-Jews out there.
For example, a study of email versus in-person communication found that 2 Dachsund hounds were much better at sniffing one another's feces when in the same cage.  But when using email, these dogs were completely unable to recognize each other! The results were literally ZERO.  None at all.  It's almost as though dogs have evolved sensori-perceptual capacities which can't be duplicated with ASCII text-based communication.
Even more amazingly, the dogs showed reactions to other dogs, but when sent Twitter messages, the dogs displayed no reaction WHATSOEVER.
In other words, what we feel is often right.  For example, if you feel a hot needle sticking in your foot, your natural reaction is the correct one.  Just as carrying a sign that reads "Nazibama" feels right.  Or as Hemingway said, "Just do it." (Pretty sure he said that.)  "If you can't put in 30 minutes a week, you don't deserve a hot date."
For example, in one study, people were given pictures of people to determine which would be more competent.  In just one second, they were able to determine which one was more likely to determine which one would be 'elected'. [Yes, David Brooks actually really seems to believe this.]
This is why an elderly white person can look at a photo of--say--a black president and know whether or not he'll be a good president.  Now you know.  In other words, 'competent' = 'electable', just like 'attractive' = 'great actress' or 'breasts' = 'boner'.
Some skeptics might accuse me of once again indulging in the worst kind of specious thinking: The one that feigns reasonableness and moderation while supporting a political party that has shown no desire to do anything but fight wars to prove that America must be special--no matter blighted our inner cities become, how deeply and permanently indebted our citizens become in trying to attain the American Dream, no matter how often the so-called principles of the Constitution are tossed out like a used diaper the moment the election is over and it's time for Cheney to have his own personal Bastille, etc. etc.  Nope, no matter purported moderates support this party, we're not responsible for anything that went wrong.  Because we did what we FELT was right.  And who cares about body counts when you do what's right?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Communication Enhances Communication

As usual, I've come up with yet another brilliant insight which most of you, able to only see the ripples and waves upon the surface of the ocean of life, have missed.  But using my special gift to penetrate below the surface and see into the deeper significance of pretty much fucking everything,  I now present my important and penetrating observations in a manner which shall no doubt blow your fucking mind:

Communication is essential to communication.  

Amazing, isn't it?  (It's amazing to me (and I'm sure, you) how often I amaze myself.  And yet it happens, day after day, week after week, year after year.)

Yes, when people employ 'communication', incredible things happen.  For example, take a seemingly useless study of using email to solve math problems.  Turns out people don't do this as well with email as they do in person.  The ordinary person with any degree of skepticism or insight would probably say, 'Well email isn't really designed for solving math problems.'  But I, having penetrated to the real meaning of things, have deduced that when people are in the same room, they can then engage in this act of 'communication'--or as I like to call it, 'talking'.  Via this 'talking' process, people can exchange things such as 'words' and 'sentences'.  Sometimes these sentences may even contain what I like to refer to as 'ideas'.  Furthermore, while engaging in this word-and-sentence exchange process, people can also do things such as 'pointing', 'nodding', and even, 'using-paper-and-pencil-to-solve-math-problems.'  Have you ever tried to use a paper-and-pencil on Twitter? Not all that easy, is it?

What becomes even more intriguing is that this 'talking' process occurs in other places.  In other words, people don't simply 'talk' while doing math problems for some totally useless psychological research whose only function is to anchor a master's thesis.  People engage in this 'talking' at universities and businesses.  It's almost as though these so-called 'colleges' were designed to bring people into geographic proximity so that they could 'talk' and 'learn' while engaging in 'communication' with one another.  I'm quite sure, however, that I'm the first human being to have noticed that proximity facilitates 'talking to other people.'  After all, email has been around for decades, whereas colleges have been around for centuries.  If I were to do the math, I'm sure we would find that email is the antecedent to colleges.  But let's leave that to mathematicians.  I don't really care for numbers.  The point is is that I dove down below the surface of the waves, braved the deadly deep, and like the heroes of old, returned with a shiny brass ring from the underworld.  Me. David Brooks.  You can't do it. Nope.


Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Exclusive - Rand Paul Extended Interview Pt. 1 - The Daily Show with Jon Stewart - 03/07/11 - Video Clip | Comedy Central

Exclusive - Rand Paul Extended Interview Pt. 1 - The Daily Show with Jon Stewart - 03/07/11 - Video Clip | Comedy Central

Jon Stewart asks, "Is this about budget, or is this about ideology?"

Rand Paul's response: "It's about no one being able to tell where the lies and distortions end and the delusions begin. Now you know."


Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Garden Of Freedom

And when was this Garden of Eden where eveyone was truly free? Was it when American land was stolen by war and genocide by the people who were here before us, was it when the government and industry collaborated to build canals and railways, was it when slavery was legal, was it when everyone lived in fear of polio? Or was it when people couldn't afford running water and electricity, say, before the Tennessee Valley Authority? Or was it when cities were choked by horrible air pollution (prior to air standards and before, filled with with the dust composed of horse excrement.) Maybe you could build a time machine?

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Definitions: Libertarianism

Libertarianism is just another cult, and even the most obvious argument will just be twisted into support for their vision of a perfect dystopia--in which not even *they* would actually choose to live if it actually came about.