Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Memoiranda: I Fucked John-John, I Fucked A Lot Of Guys Who Used To Be Famous, And Other Rancid Shit Committed To Print

Have you screwed anyone famous? Perhaps several of them? Perhaps that guy wasn't even famous for doing anything except for being the scion of a rich and famous family. So what? Apparently a publisher will pay good money for the story.(As long as it's true, of course.) One can only conclude, therefore, that being buggered by as many famous men as possible pays. And we are talking American dollars, not Canadian.

In addition, always make sure to at least hint that your dreams were frustrated because you were a woman living in the fifties--even if your only dream was to be impregnated by Ernest Hemingway. Because somehow the most oppressive life you could have possibly lead was to be a married woman in 1955 America, even if you lived in Manhattan and never wanted for a meal or a roof over your head.  

Not like my grandmother who worked was a widower who worked in a laundromat until she retired on Social Security.

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