Alexander Hamilton: Sir, I saw you mentally undressing my wife, inserting a finger in her backside, and trying to raise the deficit!
Edmund Burke: All true, sir, however: I saw you trying to bugger one of your slaves after making him wear a wig and glasses that made him look a bit too much like Benjamin Franklin! Obama will destroy America!
Hamilton: Accursed mountebank! I shall beat you with my hickory walking stick!
Burke: Not if I beat you first, traitorous Yankee! Begone with thee! God shall be my witness as I conk your noggin!
[Cane fighting ensues for several minutes until both men fall to the ground. Then a moment of awkward silence, then they laugh and embrace. THE END.]