Sunday, January 30, 2011

Mr. Schmuck And Mr. Muck

Yesterday I was really bored so I was shooting rubber bands at the ceiling while listening to Katy Perry and occasionally working on this column, which is going to be the basis for my one act play, Alexander Hamilton Meets Those Giant Worms From Dune.

Alexander Hamilton: Sir, I saw you mentally undressing my wife, inserting a finger in her backside, and trying to raise the deficit!

Edmund Burke: All true, sir, however: I saw you trying to bugger one of your slaves after making him wear a wig and glasses that made him look a bit too much like Benjamin Franklin!  Obama will destroy America!

Hamilton: Accursed mountebank! I shall beat you with my hickory walking stick!

Burke: Not if I beat you first, traitorous Yankee!  Begone with thee!  God shall be my witness as I conk your noggin!

[Cane fighting ensues for several minutes until both men fall to the ground. Then a moment of awkward silence, then they laugh and embrace. THE END.]

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