Friday, July 16, 2010

Liberal Elitism Causes Mel Gibson Woman Face Bashing In Of

That's right, I said it: Mel Gibson is a classic case of Hollywood narcissism.  So in spite of his reactionary Catholicism, the number of souls he saved with Passion of the Christ, or the collective "What the deuce?" I will get from the more polite readers of the NY Times, I can say that this is yet another case of modern Hollywood leading to...well, not exactly tragic...not really all that interesting...okay, how about this? Corrupt modern society--in conjunction with Hollywood--creates smug narcissists, exemplified by Mel Gibson.  And by Mel Gibson I mean everyone in America who disagrees with me.

And I can definitely say these things, because my philosophy is one thing and that's definite.  How else could I pull for an endless war with neither tangible results nor rational reason other than to overthrow a megalomaniac in a cold balance-of-power maneuver and advertise it as 'establishing freedom and democracy in the Middle East'?

In fact my philosophy is so definite, I don't even need to learn anything about science or understand it.  All I need to do is take the results I like, even when the flaws are so obvious a 3rd grade science project runner-up could pick out the flaws.  For example, some 3rd graders might ask, "How widespread were measurements of narcissism in the past?"; or, "How can you possibly compare past eras of widespread poverty and illiteracy to the modern America?"  But who needs questions like these! Someone wrote in a book that there's more narcissism in the present than the past, and we all know that book publishers are above all concerned with reliable data.

Left: Example Of Published Book Chock-Full 
Of Reliable Data

So as I address corrupt modern society--by which I mean the corrupt bastards who read the NY Times, listen to NPR, or watch PBS (all of which I appear on or at regularly) who lead corrupt filthy immoral degenerate lives of greed and self-interest and narcissism--I ask them to remember, please watch me on PBS, listen to me on NPR, read my column at the NY Times (and please buy a copy, you freeloaders), and buy my book, You Corrupt Filthy Degenerate Liberal Bastards Are Ruining America.  America is counting on you.  To listen to me.

And remember--there's no humility like fake humility.  So the next time someone asks you how you're doing, choke down that self-love and say, "I deserve to die."

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