Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Evangelical Christians Still Concerned About Where Your Dick Is

Evangelical Christians dedicated curers of homosexuality Scott Lively, Caleb Lee Brundidge and Don Schmierer were spent time in Uganda in March 2009 (cite) inflaming hatred of those who do not follow local customs with respect to dick-orifice juxtaposition. According the the NY Times, "thousands of police officers, teachers and politicians" were warned about the threat of gayness posed to "Bible-based family values." The now enlightened Ugandan government has recently instituted a more enlightened, progressive measure: Rather than simply put a homosexual in jail, they will now be subject to capital punishment. However, Ugandan Prime Minister took a reassuring stance: "Please do not be too concerned, there will be plenty of opportunities for any such deviants to be raped and sodomized by good Christian prisoners and their guards prior to their well-deserved execution."

When asked for comment, spiritual leader of the Christian faith, Jesus H. Christ, refused to speak directly about the subject. "Lookie here folks, I'm really fed up with these stupid questions. It's all in the book if you bother to read it. I gave you not peace but a sword and behold the lilies of the field etcetera etcetera. It's all pretty fucking clear to me. So why don't you get it? Eh wot?"

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