Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Paul McCartney Admits Error: "Turns Out Money Can Buy Love After All, And I'm Really Really Sorry."

In a recent interview, Paul McCartney apologized for deceiving so many people for more than 4 decades with his unavoidable hit, Can't Buy Me Love--in which he unequivocally stated that money could definitely not buy love.  "Yes," he went on, "I realized that money can buy love before the song had even been released--specifically a Puerto Rican women I met through the doorman at the hotel--but  by that time it was too late to make any last minute changes."  Sir Paul looked about nervously, rubbed his hands together, and after a long, awkward pause, went on.  "You see,  the vinyl singles had already been printed and it was too late to make any  last-minute changes.  And then the song took off and it was just easier to keep living with the lie....Oh, oh my god, it's just so good to be able to let it out and let go of the guilt I've been carrying around all of these years, all of the lies and the shame and the darkness, thank you thank you thank you thank you Jesus!"

At this point, Sir Paul dropped to his knees, began weeping and began to babble something about converting to Sikhism but this report was ushered quickly out of the room by burly men acting burlishly.

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