Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Yes, I'm Smug, Stupid and Bald, But I'm On TV And You're Not

by David Brooks

That's right, I can go on and on about how reasonable and pragmatic President Obama is, but as usual, since I'm a shameless smug bastard compensating for being a bald sexless troll, I'll just do a 180 at the last minute and embrace the angry mob. After all, the American people are not always right, but their basic sense of equilibrium is worthy of the profoundest respect. After all, didn't Dr. Frankenstein respect the mob? No--and look what happened to him.

Of course, by Americans I mean Real Americans, by which of course I mean old white people who descended from those idealists who were able to grab the most from the stupid freedom-hating aborigines who refused to love democracy or invent machine-guns. It is these wondrous White Americans, the heirs of The Greatest Generation, who seldom knew want or need or racial discrimination--it is these wondrous folk who truly understand Freedom. Because if you've never experienced oppression, surely you then must know what freedom means. That is why the Queen knows more about Freedom than anyone.

And it is precisely this lack of experience with hardship and oppression that has led them to see that they not only do not have to do anything for anyone else--in fact, they should not do anything for anything else. Except to earn as much money as possible. So let's embrace this angry pitch-forked mob, this most unreasonable gathering of un-deprived heroes, this coddled lot who have banded together to bravely fight for their Medicare and Social Security benefits, who want their wars without paying for them, who want clean food and water without the slightest sacrifice, who want a civil society without paying for schools or hospitals or public health of any kind, who haven't any sight of a common good beyond their monthly pensions or benefits or any change in their tax return: These brave many who together stood up and screamed, "Me!", this Spoiled Generation. For they are the past but they vote a hell of lot.

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