Monday, November 29, 2010

Hypocrisy is Good, And Yes, I Really Said That

Yes, of course it is.  It's utterly hypocritical of anyone on the left to fail to condemn a federal employee the Transportation Authority.  Keep the groin-groping, water-boarding, prison without trials, and carpet-bombing for Muslims and others who are getting in the way of our oil supply.

Furthermore: There is nothing hypocritical in supporting hypocrisy.  The chance that a gloved hand touching my testicle is as much a danger to the Bill of Rights as Gitmo.  And there is no hypocrisy in this equivalence.  It's a slippery slope.  Or perhaps more of an upward gravity-defying slope, since we started with re-creating The Bastille, then our shoes lost their freedom, and now even my proud white male gonads are no longer protected by the Fourth Amendment.  My haploid cells, once safely ensconced in my undergarments and prohibition against unreasonable search and seizures, are now decreed to be free for fondling.  Such is the tragedy of our modern times.

And dissent is always good no matter how hypocritical.  Although I'm sure some asshole will mention that slavery was Constitutionally protected and there was  a very nasty war fought over ending it and then slavery ended anyway so one might ask that what was the good in that, and I'll tell you what it was--the Civil War made Shelby Foote a rich man.

And to those who would say, "But don't you see the hypocrisy in your advocacy of hypocrisy to fight hypocrisy?", I say this: It just proves that life is a Mobius strip and eventually you end up where you started--buried in it.  And then someone can plant something over your grave and poof you've come back as a turnip.  A hypocritical turnip.

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