by NEWT GINGRICH
Greetings, America. Before us is the greatest threat to America since the Chairman Mao tried to put radiator fluid in our apple pie: Obama wants to give our moon colonies to the Kenyans.
Thousands of Americans have died on our Moon, mining in the Moon Mines, farming the Moon Farms, filming the Moon Porn, and…so on. Now the so-called “President”, as he likes to refer to himself, wishes to give these away to free to the U.N., Kenya, the African Union, whomever wants them—as long as they’re—um, you know, African or something.
Ladies and Gentleman, I kid you not; this is a crisis of French-Algerian proportions. And you all remember what that was like, right? Remember? Algeria was a colony of France? Remember? And then it wasn’t? Okay, well moving on then…the point is, the moon is American. We have a flag there and all.
Furthermore, we now have positive evidence of the infiltration of the our government by illegal aliens: “Mayor Sukhee Kang was first elected to the Irvine City Council in 2004 and was successfully re-elected in 2006.” I did some research on “Mayor” Kang and found a photo of him at what appears to be a fund-raising event:
I don’t want to sound racist but he definitely appears to be more than a tad Kenyan.
So that’s where it stands, America: We either fight for our imaginary colonies or lose them. Along with our self-respect.
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