. The tablet, from the ancient city of Uruk, is more than 5000 years old, and is described by the author--Dr. C. K. Smith of Frottage University, Kansas--not only the very first written communication, but also the very first hate-mail. Translated, it reads:
Dear Steve: OMG, you're such a dick! LOL! I drew a picture so you would understand because I just invented writing.See, this is what you are--a giant dick.
May you die horribly and rot in hell,
Many scholars, however, are hesitant to accept this interpretation, and Dr. Smith acknowledged that it could be many years before a consensus is reached on the "Ester Tablet".