Saturday, May 8, 2010

MODERN HATE: What Is "Reframing"?

Reframing is a device used by positive, optimistic happy and successful people to create a positive outcome from a negative set of circumstances.  Take this recent example: Modern Love - For the Jobless, Relationships Are Different -

"Why are you so quick to judge?" he asked.
"Quick to judge?"
"Hard on everyone."
"Hard on you?" 
"Maybe if you weren't so hard on yourself you wouldn't be so hard on others," he said.
"You think I'm critical?"
"How long have you felt this way?"
"All along, I guess."
"Why didn't you say something, Craig?"
"It wasn't clear."

The author concludes with:
.... But we needed the recession to fuel our romance. We weren’t prepared for the recovery.

As we can see from the foregoing, the author recompresses this failed relationship with reframing, thereby yielding a much more positive outcome: It was out of our control, as opposed to a far more realistic It took him six fucking months to realize I was a total bitch and would never change.  See? That nasty bitter dose of reality doesn't sound nice at all. Not one single iddley piddley bit.

So herein we see a clear-cut use of the reframing mechanism: The author not only maintained ego-integrity, but also had a piece published in the NY Times without even once admitting that she's a real cunt.

 This is what Freud would have called a "pretty solid deal".

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