Monday, March 1, 2010
Tea Party Nation Releases "Black Presidential Assassination" For Xbox360.
The so-called Tea Party protesters released the first Tea Party Movement action-adventure video game today, "Dead Black Presidents". According to a press release, the game is designed to introduce the entire mind-set of the Tea Party Movement to the uninitiated by promoting "American values, Liberty, Freedom, and shooting any president who isn't white."
Initially, the player begins in his virtual home with his family, watching repeats of America's Funniest Home Videos, and suddenly a team of IRS agents breaks down the door and lays down teargas, confiscates all of your belongings simply because you neglected to pay income tax for 20 years, and then have their way with your teen daughters while forcing your wife to make sandwiches and serve coffee. This really puts a damper on the evening--especially since they take the TV with them when they leave.
The first 'chapter' ends when you successfully parachute out of a C4-laden Cessna just before it collides into a federal building, giving those bureaucrats what they no doubt deserve for showing up to work that day.
Along the way, paper money is replaced with gold bars, giant wheels of cheese and bars of sea salt, abortion is still legal but all of the doctors have been shot, and vaccines are replaced with herbal remedies which include rhinoceros horn and tiger penises.
Without giving too much away, to win the player needs to successfully install himself in the White House and reverse every constitutional amendment since 1859--needless to say, many abortion clinics are bombed along the way.
It is also reported that a Wii-Fit version of the game is due out for Christmas 2011. "The Revolution cannot be fat," commented one protester.