Tuesday, April 13, 2010


I was watching the rifftrax of this again...and I have to say, this movie is pretty bad. But somehow watchable in its stupidity. Is it the constant overacting? That nothing in the movie makes any sense whatsoever.

1. Dragons cannot be killed with guns, cannons, antiaircraft missles, or nuclear weapons--and yet somehow an exploding crossbow bolt does the trick.
Or a ridiculously absurd and impossible "grab a dragon with nets while skydiving." The movie SKYDIVERS was more coherent.

2.The castle is lit with candles--and yet outside there are floodlights--why? "We're hiding over here, unkillable dragon, so come and devour us."

3. They're not magical--so how the fuck do they fly? If a blue whale had wings, could it fly? According to this movie, yes. The one 'male' dragon is larger than a medieval church.

4.The dragon life cyle: there's one male, all of the rest are female. They destroy all life on earth, and then hibernate for eons. THEY EVEN KILLED OFF THE DINOSAURS. To boot, there's only one sperm donor (lesbian dragon action notwithstanding).

5. Why the fuck are they growing tomatoes? In England? In what appears to be something other than summer? Since when are tomatoes a fucking food staple?

6. Some people try to 'escape', and instead of leaving, they go to pick tomatoes. Needless to say, they are gassed faster than you can say "Auschwitz", along with all of the tomatoes.

7.There is not a shortage of gasonline, even though everyone is dressed like an extra in THE SEVENTH SEAL.

8.Plenty of gas for a helicopter, even though I'm pretty sure that helicopters have turbine engines and require aviation fuel and can't really be gassed up at the QuickieMart.

9.Apparently they also enough food to feed a horse, although we nothing but bare rock (and a small tomato plantation) the entire movie.

10.Plenty of ammo which has apparently not degraded over the decades.

Well, if a crossbow can't take out a monster, what can?

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