Tuesday, April 6, 2010

CINEMA CORNER Considers David MacCallum

We at Cinema Corner we're shocked to learn today that currently aging but not currently dead actor David MacCallum is still alive and kicking and acting on the breakaway hit that has all of America talking, Navy Seals Solve Crimes Or Some Shit (see only interesting photo of NCIS on the right).

Needless to say, we were stunned to learn that this show has actually been on the air for six seasons. Shocking.  This means that some people actually watch this show.  Moreover, we cannot rule the more terrifying implication: Someone or someones has seen every episode.

Are we as a society helpless to do anything about this? Yes, we can blame the viewers--but aren't we really as a society collectively responsible?

And what of Mr. MacCallum.  We at Cinema Corner can't believe he's shitting on his legacy of MASTER NINJA. He should have said, "I played opposite Lee Van Cleef as a ninja, I'm FUCKING DONE WITH IT. THIS IS THE PEAK AND IT'S ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE."

And then with that realization, MacCallum should have seppuku'd himself right then and there (I'm sure Van Cleef would have been his second if he had but asked--looks like a stand-up guy).  Instead, he took the coward's way out and went on living.  Perhaps we should judge not him too harshly; everyone makes that mistake. But as a celebrity and role model to our children, should he not be held to a higher standard so that when he fails we can then judge him for being human and in the process feel rather better about our own lot? I mean life is hard enough with images of successful people all around us and I even get rejected by those freaks at the dog-adoption shelter.  (Um, if you're reading this dog-adoption freaks, please remember that "word" are often miscontrued, and in Middle English, "freak" meant anyone who did not have tuberculosis, the plague, or leprosy, so it was actually a compliment.)

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