Senator Ben Nelson (D, Nebraska) took a cue from Senator Joe Lieberman (I, Massachusetts) yesterday when he voiced opposition on to the health care bill on the grounds that it might actually save lives. Anonymous sources suggested that he had expressed "Lieberman Envy" earlier this week, at one point during a late-night session saying he was worried that "Joe's might be larger and more attractive," confusing all present at the time. Another aide stated, "He told me he really felt that his was too small, but sometimes 'you just gotta' go for it. Joe showed me the way'" Senator Lieberman could not be found for comment, but loud sobbing and the gnashing of teeth was heard from the gent's room near his office for many hours. When asked for comment, the ghost of Sigmund Freud observed, "Yes, it is very common for colleagues to project sibling rivalries of childhood onto one another." Puffing on the apparition of a lit cigar as his ethereal form evaporated, he told this reporter, "Oh, your mother told me to let you know that she never liked you."
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