Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Bill O'Reilly Not Responsible For Anything O'Reilly Says Or Does.

In a brief statement to news media, Mr. O'Reilly declared: "I am not responsible for the words that come out of my mouth and onto the airwaves. I have never in my life attempted to influence the thoughts or actions of anyone in the world. I am only on TV for one reason: I am a narcissistic media whore who will say or do anything to get the most attention, money and power I possibly can. I have never cared one whit, one fig, or a single fig/whit offspring, for making the world a better place or enriching anyone other than myself. So I am not, repeat not responsible for anything I say. It's just freedom of fucking speech, pal."

No one in the world was at all surprised by this statement, except for a Mr. Singh of Punjabi, who said, "Who the ***** is Bill O'Reilly?"

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