Friday, May 22, 2009

Jesus & Muhammed Announce Plans To Gay Wed in Iowa Synagogue.

In news that rocked the religious institutions and their adherents world-wide, The Christ Almighty, Savior of Heaven and Earth, and Muhammed, The Prophet Who Spoke To The Angel Gabriel, got the hell gay-married out of them. The wedding was officiated by Moses, He Who Led The Chosen People Out Of Bondage, and was attended by many noted individuals in the spirit community, although in spirit everyone was there.
In comments to reporters, The Annointed One stated that he was very happy that he and his long-time companion could now legally live together and raise a family "somewhere in the Pacific Northwest." He added that he was extremely relieved "that now he will be covered by my health care plan." Protesters worldwide began gnashing their traditional wailing, gnashing of the teeth, pulling of the hair, and renting of the garments. Protesters attempting to converge upon the event, many holding pictures of aborted fetuses, were turned to pillars of salt which slowly but surely blew away in a strong Spring breeze, a harsh reminder of the transitory nature of human existence. Miraculously, no innocent bystanders were injured, although several protesters failed to escape when they looked back. When queried, "What about descriptions of homosexuality as an abomination in the eyes of God?", Muhammed responded, "Well, let's just say you can't believe everything you read. I mean, sometimes, you're angry at someone," he said, coquettishly glancing and laughing at Our Lord & Savior. "I mean, sometimes you just say nasty things and lash out because you're angry, you're angry at yourself, you're angry because society won't let you be who you really are and you're too afraid to admit it, even to yourself." Added Jesus, "But now with this recent court decision, we can be who we really are--two men deeply and love and ready to have kids, the house with the picket fence, the whole kit'n'kaboodle."

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