Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Bullshit Awards

The world is fluid--a marvelous dance of subatomic particles, the very dust of stars, perhaps initiated by some omnipotent watchmaker, all working in conjunction to send ship more crap from China to America.

Nowadays we have this thing called 'science'. But the practitioners of science (I believe they generally wish to be referred to as 'scientists').  They even try to make science known to others by writing 'books' and 'papers'.  However, sometimes scientists disagree.  For example, some studies conclude that astrology "kinda works", whereas others assert that it's "super horseshit".  The point is, we should not throw away the results of scientific studies, no matter how nonsensical, poorly planned, sloppily conducted, incorrectly analyzed, or just plain wrong it is.  Why dispense with any horse shit that happens to agree with my pre-conceived notions about how the world works? And my pre-conceived notion about how the world works is this: I actually believe whatever specious crap I'm shoveling today.

For example: I advocate for decreased debt, but I'm also for tax cuts that blow a trillion-dollar hole in the budget, not to mention that sucking wound in the sands of Iraq.  And I seriously appear to believe in simple regulations as a solution to our problems of ever-increasing stresses on our environment, of regulating financiers, of, well, pretty much everything.  After all, science has told us that the world is going to be exactly the same in 100 years as it is now--I'm pretty sure I read that somewhere.

So I feel obligated to award this year's Bullshit Award to the person who deserves it most--me.  See you next year with a fresh new pile of the same ole' same ole'.

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