Real Christians Against Compassion

by ROSS DOUTHAT

Hiya. Ross in da house.  I'd love to say 'happy New Year,' I really would.  But I just can't. My life, I've realized, is the perpetual suffering of one injustice after another.  Just when I thought I was over the horror of living in a world filled with fake-ass fronters boning in on my very serious Resurrection Celebration (till next year at least), suddenly I am beset by a new affliction.


Liberals (you know how they are/all-alike) had resorted to a fantasy world, and the worst kind of fantasy world: One where Reason supplanted idiotic beliefs about transplanting democracy in the Middle East, burying trillions of dollars in a giant gaping bleeding wound known as 'Iraq', that toxic waste isn't toxic, policing greed with more greed (and so on).  Needless to say I was thrilled when these fabulists had there comeuppance.

But now things are different.  The insanely wealthy have their tax cuts, the noxiously unemployed still have unemployment, and in a move that fills me with a gut-wrenching disgust, the 9/11 responders are to be compensated for medical treatment. (For responding to 9/11! What gives? That money belongs to America.  I shudder to think how many plasma TV sets might remain on the shelves for these Münchhausen Syndrome malingerers.)

Well, that's the world we live in today.  Filled with compromise, stinking of corruption.  But hark ye the words of Jeremiah, unbelievers: "For if thine Accounts Payable doth exceed think Revenue Stream, yay, forfeit thine soul shall be, and accrued interest on municipal bonds naught will become."  But now, at least, you can see me for the kind of Christian I really am: A blustery little fart of a man whose idea of spirituality ends at his checkbook.

Ross Douthat