Thursday, December 16, 2010

Some Like The Forest, But I Prefer Trees


I admit it--I don't like the forest.  It's filled with dark and scary places and gingerbread houses made by witches who devour children--preferably cooked.  Give me a tree over a forest any time.

A tree can be examined in great detail without ever really having to know anything about trees, or science, or really much of anything.  Such complex, strange wonderful creatures are trees! How do they grow? I'm pretty sure it's in the fertile cultural loam of working-class America.  It's a nearly endless supply of serf-like labor for the tree.  Also I think the taller the tree grows, the more light the sun creates.  (Try growing a tree in your refrigerator. The more I look at the seedling, the more light appears inside.  I think I'm really on to something there.)  Who's to say I'm wrong?  Not anyone on NPR, that's for certain.

And the branches, the branches! They reach upwards, aspiring to rise from the middle-class to the very top of the tree!

But the top of the tree is where I have a problem: It's looking down on everyone else.  What gives it the right?  Many of these Asian or Jewish elitist branches (some possibly Asian and Jewish) claim to be 'experts' on this or that.  Well I say, "Who/What made you an expert?"  Studying something may seem to make you more of an expert, but studies have shown that in fact studying often leads to less expertise.  For example, the more time you spend studying the forest, the less you may notice that the bark on the tree spells out, "Real America".

And the more time you spend looking at extraneous details of questionable relevance to anything of any import whatsoever, the more able you are to question those self-appointed 'experts' who claim to have 'knowledge' and want to 'warn us' about imminent catastrophes that will kill the trees.  Well guess what? I have a book by some dead Russian dude that tells me that people had problems back then. Yes, even in Russia.  I think I've proved my point: There's a message written in the bark, and you can read it.  Just ignore everything else.

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