Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Respectitude For Tea Party Rectitude #1

Why We Must Respect The Tea Party

Yes, those who say the Tea Party must be respected are, of course, correct. Already their influence is being felt everywhere, from nearly killing the health care overhaul to pushing the Republican Party even further to the right-wing white fringes of Arizona's Punch A Mexican Guy In The Face law, the Tea Party is flexing it's flabby biceps and giving voice to powerless white males over 45.

And they no doubt have wonderful ideas that are ignored by The Incompetent Establishment at which David Brooks sneers. Because as we all know, and as Mr. Brooks and Mr. Wills will no doubt tell us, small government is good government. And this is the core idea, the wonderful, beautiful flower that is the heart of the Tea Party: Freedom. A gorgeous promise of scented freedom, a scent which if you put nose closely to it, will tell you it's secret:

We want our Social Security and Medicare and police protection and fire departments and we don't want to pay a fucking dime for any of it.

We want our military-industrial complex and our highways and pollution controls and fire departments and prisons but why the hell should we have to contribute anything when somewhere there is a a black or brown welfare queen stealing my money that the government stole from me.

Taxation is theft--from white people to poor people, useless cripples, illegal immigrants, lazy ghetto layabouts, a load of idle classes who refuse to lift themselves up by their own bootstraps. When we were young there were no roads, no schools, no running water, and no government. We did everything ourselves and no one helped us at all. We deserve everything we have because we are white and we are U.S. citizens. And therefore we do not owe anyone anything.

So fuck you.

Um, we're not racists, we just love freedom.

(We just really, really, seriously fucking LOVE freedom.)

And that, my friends, is the beauty and power of the Tea Party philosophy. And if that doesn't bring a tear to your eye, you are one stone cold dead killer.

Tea Party

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