Wednesday, April 28, 2010

As Usual, I'm Full Of Shit by David Brooks

Or Why The Government Will Screw It Up So Don't Fucking Bother

Essentially, this column is a thought-provoking analysis of political philosophy as it applies to our current day-to-day environment. By I mean, I'll say one or two reasonable things, and then basically come to the same conclusion as Fox News and the Republican Party line. The fact that I just ignore pertinent facts is because this is a philosophical discussion, and as Socrates observed, facts are overrated.

Okay, first the reasonable part: People in power indulge in a lot of mutual backscractching in order to share the spoils. I'll say this with scienc-ey sounding terms such as "social networking" or perhaps "in-group cognitive fermentation" to help sell this argument a bit, as people are much less offended by it--than by phrases such as 'chimpanzee circle jerk'. At the same time, it seems to give my opinions a veneer of respectability, underneath the termite-and-maggot-rot. But that's rather appropriate since today's subject is about polishing worthless crap and then selling it.

In this drama, in other words, the establishment was pleasant, respectable and stupid--much like my undying support of Shrubya and his administration, while the contrarians were smart but hard to love, and sometimes sleazy. I mean, whom has heard of a sleazy politician or salesman? Not me. I later found out that there were such people, and frankly I was shocked. I mean, I was so busy trying to figure out the hell I could explain to America what a great president Bush was that I really could not be bothered to much worry about it.

Anyhoo, the elected leaders of the clueless establishment (excluding George Bush, of course--did I mention he has character?) have given me this opportunity to note that I'm really not part of this establishment at all. I'm just a simple opinion writer trying to make his way in the universe. And now I can oppose everything the Democratic Party is for by simply saying that Washington is overloaded with hypocrisy and then pretending I wasn't a cheerleader for the very same "establishment" (tee-hee, I'm a bit of a hippie after all) for the many years it was led by the party that just happens to be dominated by white conservatives. You might think that would make me some sort of vile hypocrite or a smug, self-deluded fool, but you'd be very very wrong, I can assure you on this point. Because this column is really a philosophical discussion.

And besides, we're not doing something we should be doing, such as invading Iraq. No, we're trying to re-regulate what was de-regulated. And as well all know, rules, laws and regulations accomplish nothing. So I'll change the argument from a real issue, such as setting limits on capital requirements, and change it to the classic big government will fail ever time. So I don't really need to make any sense. All laws are imperfect--so why make more of them? The Romans had laws--and looked what happened to them!

And now let me insert a sports reference to prove, that even though I write for NY Times, I'm a real/regular American just like my, hero, Bush. "Some Democrats regard federal commissions with the same sort of awe and wonder that I feel while watching LeBron James and Alex Ovechkin." There, see, I'm not part of the establishment, I'm a regular guy who goes to the salad bar at Applebees.

Financial bubbles have happened throughout history; so never mind what some fancy-pants Nobel Prize-winning economist tells you (note: not a regular guy). So until the Democratic Party finds a way to change human nature, we should not do a damn thing. And now let me prove once more that I'm just a regular guy: "The folks in the big investment banks....The folks in Washington...." There--do you see? I'm just plain folks, going to church, milking the cows, stacking the hay, sitting in the barbershop and reading Corn Aficionado Weekly, and of course complaining about Washington. At least when it's run by Democrats. And just because I happen to support what the finance/bank industry and lobby wants, or what the Republican Party wants, is entirely aside the point of my philosophical analysis.

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