A highly reliable source has informed us through our exclusive back channels that the rapture is coming this very Saturday. So if you have yet to accept the J-Man into your heart as your savior, time to go to call your bookie or broker and bet heavily on gold, tobacco, and ammunition. I am also predicting that Schwarzenegger will have a love child with Kate Middleton, who will be revealed as a hopeless bingo & opium addict.
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