Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Future Will Be Hunky-Dory

From KPCC And Larry Mantle's Airtalk: Dan Gardner, Author Of Future Babble

Larry Mantle: So it's my understanding that predictions are pretty much always wrong. Right?

Dan Gardner: You are correct sir. For example, some guy predicted that there would be worldwide famine by the 70's but there wasn't.

Larry Mantle: So true. Pollution just takes care of itself. We used to have air pollution in Los Angeles and then it just went away. I believe it was just a random fluctuation.

Dan Gardner: Exactly--that's why the future is unpredictable. It's all random chaos. That's why science doesn't work. How do we know that everyone will die eventually? Maybe some people won't.

Mantle: And the population problem just went away too.

Gardner: Exactly. And that guy who said that refused to change his predictions.

Mantle: I think that proves that there was nothing to worry about in the first place. And I can't think of any holes in your theory; I mean, if I don't see famine, poverty, or malnutrition outside my front door, they don't exist.

Gardner: They don't. As we know, the time between now and the 70's is about the same time span as the dinosaurs lived on the planet, and since we haven't seen any significant changes over those eons, there will surely be none to worry about.

Mantle: You're so right. Water and sunlight are infinite in supply, that's why a pine tree can grow all the way to the moon.

Gardner: No reason it couldn't.

Mantle: And I'm sure multi-drug resistant tuberculosis is another liberal myth to scare us, just like lead poisoning.  Coming up next: Food riots in the Middle East and North Africa spur revolt. Later I will be hosting an "Objectivity In Journalism" event where I will probably be asked, "Why haven't you been Huell Howser'd into tasting pies in Central California, you senile old git?"

Well, there you have it, folks: The kind of objective journalism you can only find here at KPCC or pretty much an AM station run by daft right-wing loons.


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