Paul Ryan: The courage to appease.

by
DR. PRURIENT
T. LOGICUS

Few have ever shown the courage Representative Paul Ryan. The courage to cut the social safety net from people who never vote Republican (if they vote at all) by $3 trillion--and give Republicans $3 trillion in tax cuts! To take something from your enemy and give it to your supporter? That is some mofo testicular fortitude--reminds me of the time the Pope came out in support of Catholicism.  (In spite of what Jesus had told him just the previous day when they met at Starbuck's.)

Courage at last, courage at last! My friends, courage at last!

Ahem, sorry, got carried away there...where was I? Yes, courage. The courage to take from someone and give it to someone else.  But moreover, hope. The hope that this taking from one and giving to another will make the sea rise and thus all our boats will rise a bit higher. Some of use will be in yachts, others in dinghys with holes in them, and no doubt others will be in lifejackets clinging to a capsized vessel...but hey, the ocean is rising and a current may well carry you to land. Or perhaps not. But even if it doesn't, you can still hope to find some tossed off scraps from bypassing yachts or maybe a cruise line vessel. (I hear they have awesome buffets, so the amount of garbage must be incredible.)

Even more courageously, Mr. Ryan bravely stands up to his own party by not cutting a single red cent from the military (we've got to keep up appearances--you can't impress the Chinese with some rusty old B2 bombers from the 80's, after all). Even Medicare comes in for a shave, except for those over 55 and who vote solidly GOP. We applaud you, Mr. Ryan, for showing courage--the courage to appease your friends, allies, and supporters. Thank you *sniff* thank you. Sorry, I have to go, I'm going to tearing up....