Or How The Sacking Of General Twat Is Actually The Fault Of Liberal Media Elitists But Not The Loud-Mouthed Twat
Yes, we can agree that General McChrystal's magical mchrystals had grown a wee bit too large to fit inside of his desert-camoflaged trousers. (Are his undergarments also camoflaged? Hmmm.) But the real problem here is--as always--the liberal elite.
(Or as I call them while playing Call of Duty with my Weekly Standard and American Enterprise Institute pals, the leet. Such as when I type 'whoa i pwned that l33t!!!!.' And when we play the Nazi Zombie mode, we call them l33t zies. But I digress...)
And if there's one thing worse than the liberal, Ivy League educated, high-falutin-giving-me-the-high-hat-elite, it's the liberal-media-elite. Now back during WWII, when we culturally agreed on the view of Man as original-sin-ridden filth, we honestly keep our mouths shut. Reporters and the media knew man was sin-ridden-filth, so they had no need to report on the number of prostitutes used by the Supreme High Command or bribes/kickbacks in the defense industry. These are things no one needed to know. So we didn't know.
Another thing about elitists is that they form groups of people who think alike--unlike churches, scientologists, the Republican Party, or extreme right-wing think tanks and propaganda bulletins, where dissent is tolerated--liberal elitists do not. Liberals love conformity. And even though liberals loved McChrystal, and he loved them (okay, that was just an outright lie, but since when did I worry about the truth?) the fact that he trashed them in front of a reporter who reports things just shows that liberals hate the truth.
As I knew all along, but I am grateful when a story comes along like this that I can twist into my own rather bizarre view of reality (hippies did it). So to wrap things up, liberals hate the truth and I was right all along, as I always am. Hopefully someday we can get back to understanding that Mankind is a hideous filth-ridden pile of crap, and there will be no need to report on unpleasant things. Until then, I shall be here, poking my finger in the eye of the liberal elite. I will remain completely unable to detect, much less remove the log from my own eye--whether because I'm insane, or just have an incredibly massive ego, or I'm legally blind--well, it is hard to say. Because I'm completely incapable of acknowledging any flaw whatsoever. So. Until that day.
David Brooks, General Stanley McChrystal