Wednesday, March 23, 2011

It's Easier To Count The Bodies After The Genocide

Dr. Prurient T.
Logicus, Prof. of
Simian Theology,
University of Bobo,
New Ape City
Pish-posh, Libya schmibya, Rwanda, um...Rwanda.  Look, if we start adding up the corpses of the innocent before they're even corpses, we are in for a long slog.  Because you know how these things work: "Oh, the Turks wiped out my clan," or "the Nazis killed my everyone in my village."  Well boo-hoo! We've all got problems people.

Well let me tell you folks--things were different then.  During the Second World War, the Nazis even went so far as to call themselves 'Nazis', so back then it was pretty easy to figure out who the real Nazis were. (Answer: The Nazis.)  But things are different and  more complicated now.  The real Nazis could be anyone from Obama to Theodore Roosevelt to Richard Nixon--no one knows!

Besides, how are we even supposed to know if there's going to be a massacre before the massacre occurs?  The sensible approach is to wait until the massacre is over.  Then all we have to do is some simple arithmetic (for example, 1 + 1 + 1 +1 + 1.....= 1 million), experience some mild guilt when they make the movie with Don Cheadle and George Clooney, and wonder if anyone could have done anything.  It's much cheaper and  who cares about humans anyway?  And if you're too much of a dirty hippie to construe ramming a cruise missle up the ass of North Africa as a hostile gesture, well that's exactly what a dirty hippie would say.

Yours In His Simian Majesty,
Dr. Prurient T. Logicus


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