Friday, July 23, 2010

Experts Want To Choke Your Freedom To Death With Their Bare Hands by super sexy guest star David Brooks

Who Can You Trust--
Me, Or The So-Called

You, the public, might think at some point I would realize that the mass of self-contradictions I refer to as my 'philosophy' would at some point cave in on themselves like a house built from subprime mortgage derivatives--but no, I'm still here spewing out the same crap I've been doing for god-only-knows-how-long.  I like to refer to myself as "God's Geyser" (it's a little joke David plays with David), though the world is filled with people who can't shut the hell up, so why are you looking at me?

Of course, first things first (this being the NY Times), I must toss a bone to the unwashed hippie liberal Ivy League elitists who run this country and subvert our good solid Midwestern values: Um, Bush did not do everything right.  Okay? So there, now I sound pretty rational, don't I?  Pretty much in the middle?  Okay. So Bush not doing things perfectly was the first half of this decade--apparently I can't add, subtract or divide simple whole numbers either.  The second half, and by 'half of a decade I mean one year of the Obama tyranny, Congress, against the will of Real America, created a  massive new bureaucracy. I won't come out and say how horrible this is, although it is truly horrible, I will only say that it is horrible because rational people hate centralized planning of any kind.

We should not place our faith in such things as modern statistics, the use of computers in management of people and resources, or indeed the use of mathematical models of any kind.  These things are only for businesses to make money.  They are not for our representational government to find ways to more efficiently allocate scarce resources.  Because scarcity is produced by the government, and not limited by anything in this alleged "natural" world that scientists always yap on about.  If I go to the doctor, I want him to test the hell out of me until I feel as though every orifice has been painfully violated again and again, and maybe in places where I don't even have an orifice.  So what if there's no evidence that Test A or Drug Z doesn't work? If Madison Avenue tells us we need it, we should have it--as long as we can pay.  And if I don't have any cash, I just want my worthless flesh tossed into a ditch and left to die--just like every other American.

So this is what Real America wants, Mr.Obama--to be probed and violated unnecessarily, or left out in a ditch to die.  And that, dear readers, is freedom.

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