Tiger Woods Cock Update

Trousers Inhabited By Dangerous Organ

Sadly, there is now new news regarding this reclusive male sexual organ in spite of 24 hour surveillance by the media. Nor has it been willing to speak publicly. What does it want? Where will it go next? What are its demands? Are we safe from it?

There are simply too many unknowns for us at the present time. We must remain vigilant and alert until we have a full explanation by the penis, and until that time, we can only hope and pray that the media shall keep us safe by maintaining a constant watch over Tiger Wood's $2000 trousers. That zipper could come down anytime, America! Stay safe! And keep watching the skies! (And the trousers!)