Saturday, March 20, 2010

Pope Benedict To Send Free Hat, "Get Well Soon" Card To Rape Victims

His Holiness Pope Benedict Something has changed his stance on priests raping parishioners. "This should no longer be tolerated, as I used to do before people paid attention to me. From now on, anyone raped, sodomized, touched, fondled, fiddled, diddled, or just plain creeped out by a Catholic priest is automatically entitled to a "Get Well Soon" card signed by me. In addition, they will also get a fancy red hat personally blessed by Christ's representative on Earth (me!). One size fits all, sorry no returns. P.S. Really sorry you were raped."

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