another terribly unfair rant about someone the author has never met

I generally expect most politicians to bend/distort/lie, as otherwise they would never get elected--but Hillary isn't even good at it. She is good at repeating or rather emptying the exact same crockbucket over and over till some of the fools actually believe it, and I suspect, till she actually believes it...because her conscience appears to be an vacuum in which any convenient belief system can briefly exist before it begins gasping for air and is quickly snuffed out by the absence of oxygen within that cold and frigid bleak space known as Hillary's sense of scruples.
Things Hillary Hasn't Said Even Though She Did

I generally expect most politicians to bend/distort/lie, as otherwise they would never get elected--but Hillary isn't...
Posted by Shaun Gates on Monday, March 21, 2016

funny = true

At some point, it's very possible that all the lies will pile up into one furshlugginer giant miasma which will implode...

Posted by Shaun Gates on Sunday, February 14, 2016

from the department of thought that cunt would never die: scalia died

Good riddance to bad rubbish. You see, you live long enough and have a positive attitude and good things happen. I'm...

Posted by Shaun Gates on Sunday, February 14, 2016

must...worship...reagan...braaaaaaaaaaaaiiinsssssssssssssss....

Must...worship...Reagan...braaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnsssssssssssssss....

Posted by Shaun Gates on Thursday, December 31, 2015

#ronaldreagan #seriuoslywtfrepublicans

gop brides: many called, only one can be sold

A freight car loaded with would-be brides for the Republican Party paused before bright lights and cameras last night. Much assent was heard from the crowd as each marketed himself as the heir to Reagan's throne. Some sold themselves as willing to order others to kill with utter ruthlessness; others, as byproducts of hyper-efficient Darwinian free markets which weed out the weak, frail and sickly, leaving only the most pompous and bloated of windbags alive. Others said basically the same thing but tried to appear reasonable about how many would be slaughtered in the name of freedom. After what felt like an eternity, the small herd was packed into the freight car, and the circus traveled to yet another town, to amuse the adults and delight the children with their antics and promises to rain death from above on anyone who screws with our great nation...and so on and so on, till the final day of selection arrives.
#GOP #2016 #BeAfraidBeVeryAfraid

only 6.75 months for liberals to continue hating hillary

In the name of continuing my attacks on Hillary because I am a one-man army with a keyboard,  (#DifferenceMaker) (#StateOfPerpetualDissatisfaction) (#ProbablyFullOfIt), I will post this photo of a table of a their respective records on important issues. 

Take that, Ms. Clinton!

#HillaryClinton

#BernieSanders

#Election2016

KRUGMAN ON PAUL RYAN: OH NO HE DI'NT!

OH YES HE DID!

What makes Mr. Ryan so special? The answer, basically, is that he’s the best con man they’ve got. His success in hoodwinking the news media and self-proclaimed centrists in general is the basis of his stature within his party. Unfortunately, at least from his point of view, it would be hard to sustain the con game from the speaker’s chair.

Mind you, this is pretty much what everyone outside of the Tealandia or Washington D.C. already knows, but...

 #paulkrugman
#paulryan

Afghanistan: Worse Than Mississippi

A reader comments:
"Afghanistan is a mostly rural nation with very low population densities. It does not possess the cultural, physical and social infrastructure of a modern nation. It is a bunch a of villages, loosely connected through tribal alliances, that live off the land. There are not large factories and industrial centers. There are not powerful institutions of higher learning. They barely have schools for kids.

The people are loyal to their family, their village, their tribe, and probably in that order. Our concept of central government is foreign to them. Our concept of nation is foreign to them. I have seen many news reports that reveal that the locals don't understand why American troops are even there. 

We have imposed our Western ways upon them which the people have rejected. They don't want to fight in our war. They want to go back to their villages. 

This does not excuse Taliban cruelty, but these questions must be asked. If we weren't fighting the Taliban, would the Taliban not be fighting against the villages? Do the Taliban wish to drive out the infidel Americans and our proxy puppets instead of killing villagers? Do the villagers really care if the Taliban rule?

We have no allies in the region, just nations that use us to further their own gains. The situation has always been hopeless for a military victory. 

We should take a cue from the Afghan forces running away. There is nothing to stand and fight for. So they run. So should we."

#afghanistan 

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/01/opinion/do-we-value-low-skilled-work.html

Only if it's prostitution, pole-dancing, or a mud-wrestling pit near LAX. (So really it's just a question of what degree you're willing to degrade yourself for money.) (Caveat: Unless you're a sex slave, but we can't cover every contingency in this argument.)

Afghanistan, Special Director's Cut

This was Vietnam II waiting to happen, With Iraq being Vietnam III. Frankly both of these sequels sucked and I blame George Lucas--I hope he isn't directing the Vietnam IV. My god someone must be out there shopping a prequel around D.C. The horror, the horror.
#Kunduz #Afghanistan #SuckFest #GeorgeLucas

NY Times op-ed: The Many Failures In Afghanistan

Feel That Bern, Continued

#FeelTheBern!!!

Posted by Shaun Gates on Sunday, September 13, 2015

#feelthebern, #berniesanders

bees teach us critical thinking via collaborative murder

how bees teach us collaborative, critical thinking via collaborative murder 
-from the magical balloon ride of mister brooks

Hey peeps, gotta' pop in here to earn my paycheck which I get in order to prove the maxim, 95% of everything is shit because that's what people like.

So you know the drill:

First paragraph: Me all excited about some bullshit!  We all know that bees are social animals, right. Just like people! But you say, "David, bees are stupid!" Wrong. You're stupid. I mean, you're reading this column and taking it seriously, right? Okay, let's move on.

Second paragraph: Did you know how aforesaid bullshit demonstrates counter-intuitive hypothesis? Bees are not stupid--in fact, they're bee-smart! Take, for example, a fellow walking down a bucolic country road in the spring time. This gent--who let's say, looks a lot like this guy--

hypothetically of course, it's just a photo I plucked from the Internet completely at random, no idea whom he might be--so this gent is strolling down the road and then because his dumb fat stupid head is filled with 'ideas' that are different from mine, he doesn't even notice that hive of Africanized bees living in that mailbox. Whoops! Out come a hive of bees hahahaha! That's right, stab that old bastard!

Now poor ole'   ̶p̶a̶u̶l̶ ̶k̶r̶u̶g̶m̶a̶n̶ random stranger is suddenly being attacked like a Tokyo firebombing in 1944! Who's the dumb fat stupid-head now,  ̶p̶a̶u̶l̶ ̶k̶r̶u̶g̶m̶a̶n̶ random stranger?  That's right, the bees, by working together, have become super-intelligent! And the man is super-dead! Who's the smartie-pants now,  ̶p̶a̶u̶l̶ ̶k̶r̶u̶g̶m̶a̶n̶ random stranger?

Third paragraph: Wrap up my deep penetrating insight into reality which only I possess with message of the moral superiority of keeping your mouth shut and the virtue of blind obedience to our Wall Street Overlords or the boot of whom ever I happen to be licking today. Yes, dear reader, I have examined this matter carefully, very carefully. It consumed an entire 30 minutes of my time between breakfast and lunch, after which I busied myself with a Danielle Steele novel but anyways the point is is that only I have seen this. The bees obey their ruler. For the good of their hive nation, they attack and die. And I'm sure that they die happily, knowing that they gave all for the greater good.

So remember, the next time you or your child or grandchild is out there in some foreign hellhole filled with people who hate America and therefore need to learn about democracy at the end of a rifle barrel, weep not. Instead, say it with me (from a very, very, very, very, very safe distance):

FOR THE HIVE! HIVE AMERICA!

The 1930's Bruning Deflation

Hitler! (And deflation)

"Yes, there was a hyperinflation in 1923, which may have helped radicalize German politics. But the proximate factor in Hitler’s rise to power was the great deflation of the 1930s, brought on by a disastrous attempt to stay on gold (krguman.blogs.nytimes.com, 09july2015). " 

justice kennedy: rich people can be gay too

Above: Supreme Court Justice  Kennedy
nostalgically reminisces about
'experimental' sessions with fellow
drunken Harvard frats .

In a moving affirmation of civil rights and in support of marriage equality regardless of race, creed or preference, Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote:

What I have noticed is that that there are quite a lot of rich people with money; yes, even gay ones. Yep. And you know, when it comes to humans, the rich ones just seem so much more, well, human, if you take my drift.  

And hey we've all been there experimenting in our youth with what a few pals, some men among their fellow virile men, could achieve with an index finger, kitchen gloves and a jar of Vaseline. 

So, sure, affirm that, because I have been deeply touched by the suffering of people of wealth and power. Sadly this ruling might apply to the unwashed masses as well, but hopefully they will soon be systematically exterminated and replaced by obedient cyborg machines who don't cause all this fuss and bother. Now everybody pat me on the back while I help steal away your right to vote, organize a union, protest in public, and eliminate all pretense of a democracy. The time of the oligarchy has come. (Sorry, just thinking out loud there.)

your pal, anthony kennedy

from paul krugman: strange bush

Above: Artist's rendering of  former president and
brother of Jeb Shrub, sans human skin costume.

don't know much about history, jeb bush edition - From The Conscience of a Liberal - NYTimes.com 

Too much strange not to share this:
The erstwhile front-runner tries to get things in order:
"By hiring Mr. Diaz, Mr. Bush wanted to send a clear signal that “the culture of the Bush operation will now be a Pickett’s Charge engagement campaign with his main opponents,” according to one Bush ally."
Hmm. Pickett’s Charge is not exactly something you want to emulate …
I find myself thinking about an incident from a while back, where Jeb invoked the spirit of a “mystic warrior':
After more than an hour of solemn ceremony naming Rep. Marco Rubio, R-West Miami, as the 2007-08 House speaker, Gov. Jeb Bush stepped to the podium in the House chamber last week and told a short story about “unleashing Chang,” his “mystical warrior” friend.
Here are Bush’s words, spoken before hundreds of lawmakers and politicians: ”Chang is a mystical warrior. Chang is somebody who believes in conservative principles, believes in entrepreneurial capitalism, believes in moral values that underpin a free society.
”I rely on Chang with great regularity in my public life. He has been by my side and sometimes I let him down. But Chang, this mystical warrior, has never let me down.”
[italics & bold mine - drt] How was he to know that “unleashing Chiang” was about landing Kuomintang troops on the mainland, where they would have been slaughtered? (Maybe that Pickett comparison isn’t so off after all.)

One hella' strange Shrub.

#shrubya, jeb_son_of_shrubya, #jebbush, #herewegoagain 

fuck you, jon stewart, sweet and slowly, one more time, one last time

fuck you, jon stewart, sweet and slowly, one more time, one last time 
by dead rodent typingGood riddance to Jon Stewart. And congratulations. He's made it, and had a long career, and that deserves respect.

Politically, however, he has become completely worthless--a liability, even. Perhaps it's the inevitable result of age and wealth. You can have one or the other, but when you have both, you forget how most people live, your judgement is constantly battered to by the fact that at some level, you're basically hustling deodorant and tampons, you start to hob-knob with fascists, and you begin to realize that hey, Nazis are people too! They have emotions and feelings and they certainly are better-dressed and go to five-star restaurants.

Before long, you're talking about the need to appreciate the humanity and sincerity of our home-grown fascists even as they send Our Troops to become maimed and killed overseas, and then you're boiling over when the New York Times paints an unflattering picture of Marco Rubio's finances. Which is fucking asinine and I'm going to tell you why: Because the party that has been attacking 'welfare queens', students, the poor, the middle-class, and destroyed the economy in 2008 with 30 years of Reaganomics still wants to paint itself as so fucking fiscally responsible that if Obama's presidency should have bankrupted the country a billion times over and yet they can't balance their own fucking checkbooks even as they're paid huge sums for a book deal or getting houses with no down payment and you want to defend that?

THERE ARE PEOPLE ROTTING IN HELLISH PRISONS FOR CRIMES THEY NEVER COMMITTED, YOU FUCKING BORDERLINE SENILE ASSHOLE WITH YOUR FUCKING STUPID, IDIOTIC MYTH OF SOME BIPARTISAN PARADISE THAT NEVER EXISTED.  

So, to reiterate, Jon Stewart: Good riddance and go fuck yourself. Will be plenty of time for that in the barn on your so-called ranch. Please, no pictures of you clearing brush with a chainsaw.

dead rodent typing

pedo duggar: the council of the wise have spoken, sort of

Above: The Council Of The Wise  meet in Rivendell

 At a recent meeting of The Council Of The Wise in Rivendell, Sara and Bristol Palin appeared to declare that, "Pedo Duggar is being unfairly maligned as a pedo by the liberal media!"

Elrond Half-Elven, Lord of Rivendell,  son of Eärendil and Elwing, interrupted them to dramatically shout, "What does this have to do with the one ring exactly? Of whom do you feeble-minded fools represent?"  He then adjourned the proceedings at this point indefinitely. At last report, no further discussions of the One Ring have been scheduled. 

Above: Elrond, Lord of  Rivendell

rand paul, paul ryan announce new housing plan for homeless veterans

Above: Artist's rendering of the
Ryan-Rand Open Casket Act 

rand paul, paul ryan announce new housing plan for homeless veterans -dead rodent typing

Senator Rand Paul and Representative Paul Ryan have announced a their sponsorship of a bill that would provide additional housing for homeless veterans. Informally known as the "Open Casket Act", the bill would provide a shelter for every veteran for every veteran to live in, or at the very least sleep in, till she or he is dead.

Above: Congressmen Rand Paul,
Paul Ryan, and some other douche.

Said Paul Ryan, "It's the best of compassionate conservatism: Fiscally sound, use of highly efficient private sector contractors, and best of all we keep the coffin--er, home--and save it for the next war. If the families really love their veterans, they will understand that plastic wrap or an old bed-sheet is just as good. They all rot eventually. Did I mention that I have negative 5% ibody fat and that I've won the Mount Everest Marathon three times? Yes, I am amazing, golly gosh jiminy whillikers!"

Senator Paul chimed in: "It's true, I was there and saw all three wins. Pinned the medal on him myself right at the top of Kilimanjaro."

"Everest!", hissed Mr. Ryan.

Above: Site of Mt. Everest Marathon which
Rep. Ryan has won thrice-fold.

"Right, that one that he said," added the esteemed senator, who then searched the skies overhead, in fear of what he termed an 'Obamastrike'. "Our deaths will come from the sky!", he then proclaimed, gesticulating wildly. "Bring prosperity back to America! Reinstate the Gold Standard Act of 1834 and we shall reinstate the prosperity of 1835!" Men in crisp white linen uniforms then leapt upon the stage , their slacks blazing like the sun of a thousand bright summer dawns over Southampton, each dawn reflected in the green ripples a million times, so it was sort of like a thousand million dawns, although this writer has vastly exaggerated the brightness for rhetorical effect.

As Mr. Paul and Mr. Ryan were chased away by the men in white, they were followed by a large horde of women dressed only in brassieres and knickers (as they say in London, yes I was in London once about 1925, a cold, gray place of ash and soot, with natives who spoke my tongue, and yet it was not, and the occasional glint of the sun upon the river was cause for celebration but oh I do digress). In the distance, I was certain that that I heard the harsh tones of a saxophone playing a novelty tune, perhaps from a nearby lawn party, or perhaps it was a ghost, lost between here and the afterworld, looking for one of the long-gone rituals of laughter and chatter and bootleg there by sea, where Mr. Gatsby found himself going in reverse, receding into the past, because the clutch was broken and the car was stuck in 'R'. And that, my friends, that is America. A fancy car with a broken clutch.

Okay, are we done here? Did I resolve that image to your satisfaction? No?
Well piss off or buy 5000 of my books, this page is ad-free you know!!!!
 

my forsaken fourth amendment anal rights by rand paul

Highllights from the Great Rand Paul Filibuster of 2016, heretofore known to historians as 'Paulobuster16':


[Hour 27:32] The Constitution, that great document which described black men as 3/5 of a white man and women as not even human has ruled our nation since the dawn of time, before Eve led Adam to sin and that's how the Civil War started I'm pretty sure.

Anyhoo, the Constitution--document, not the ship--tells us that we have a right to privacy. But accordingly, we have the right to give up that privacy. Example: 

I came across an attractive ICE agent at O'Hare but she refused to search me. What a tease. Even suggested that I might have illicit narcotics up my rectum and that she had a better reach deep, but she just waved me through. I again insisted that I needed to be searched for potential contraband, and that I could not be above the law simply due to my position as a senator of the United States of America. Again, she refused. Instead, I was led to a small room with cheap furniture and two men in uniforms insisted on checking my passport with the State Department. After a brief phone call, they apologized for the misunderstanding and even carried my baggage to my connecting flight. I have not seen the ICE agent since. What sort of nation are we living in, President Obama? 

#thanksobama #randpaul #filibuster #fourthamendment  #callme

zimmerman stands ground in moving car, defends freeway freedom

Yes, that Zimmerman.

immerman stands ground in moving car, defends freeway freedom --johnathan liberty constitutionalist seagull In what is being falsely reported by the mainstream media as a road rage incident, George Zimmerman once again is being slandered as an unstable weirdo with a gun, when in fact he simply was defending The Constitution Of These Here Them United States. But don't believe me: Believe what the unstable weirdo with the gun said at his press conference: "The other driver was sipping on apple juice. At that point, I realized that my survival was threatened, and with it, the survival of the Sovereign State of Florida, the United States of America (except Baltimore), democracy, and quite possibly human civilization itself. I reached for my .44 (most powerful handgun in the movies) and with one swift motion, blew my dick off. Though this had no actual effect on anything except my junk, the other driver was clearly petrified and drove off. Was it the look of grim determination on my face? That he could see that I was an undeterred patriot standing my ground, Second Amendment-style? That huge sprays of blood were spattering the interior side of the windows, pasted with bits of my summer sausage and looking like the worst marinara sauce ever as I screamed in agony? We'll never know, but of this we can be sure: Democracy is safe. But for how long. How. Long?"

#georgezimmerman
#yesthatzimmerman
#secondamendment
#standyourground
#completely_reasonable