Harry Mantle And The Magical Choice Machine

Welfare Queen Sighting
On KPCC's Airtalk with
Larry Mantle

Great fantasy tale broadcast on a local NPR outlet, KPCC in Los Angeles. Wasn't aware that there was a large young-adult demographic listening to the public radio on a weekday, but you just never know. I mean, these people in radio must know what they're doing, or they wouldn't be in radio. Makes sense if you think about it.

"Many people can't feed their children!" cried the woman, who claimed to be some sort of social services employee. Harry, however, could easily guess that she was in fact a subversive apparatchik of COMINTERN. He always knew, because any mention of social injustice always triggered his magical supply-side ring. It now glowed eerily, warning of the presence of the worst demon of them all: The welfare queen.
Harry knew that there was only one thing to do, which he had never successfully done before: Cast the long, difficult CHOICE spell!
"You know what?", asked Harry of the woman. "These poor miserable wretches could simply use
the magical power of CHOICE. Look at my choices: I chose parents who would spend money and time to educate me, never knowing that the product of their investment would choose to be a self-centered tub of lard who uses his 'show' to give completely ignorant advice and opinions about nutrition and the cost of healthy food, or the global warming, or economics, or pretty much anything that hasn't been part of the Republican party line since the Social Security Act of 1935. I maintain my employment by exercising my choice to have no original thoughts of my own but simply use my show to create a patina of centrist moderation over the same old brutal policies. You don't think the the establishment here at KPCC actually wants to change anything for the unwashed masses, do you? Needless to say, none of those choices involve riding a bicycle."
Harry Mantle went on: "I also exercise my prerogative not to have been born an African-American or a non-native speaker. That makes it much easier to remain blissfully unaware of the advantages of my generation had during the rise in equality following WW2 and the inequality voted in by people of my generation as we decided to do anything but worry about ourselves and screw the future generations and uh oh here comes global warming and we're all fucked. I'm old and nearly dead so screw you future kids, hey I got mine and I'm out of here, but first you get to pay an immigrant to diaper my ass the last 30 years of my life, you're welcome."
And just like that, the subversive equality demon vanished, and the imbalance of supply and demand was restored. 

A Note From Berghdazi Land

A brief snippet from my son after NPR "reported" (as they claim to do) on the totally fraudulent, right-wing-created "controversy" of Berghdaziland.

As I recall it went something like this: "They're like Disney villains. They're clearly villains but no one sees them, until they turn into a dragon and have to be slain."

Unfortunately I did not convey how well he expressed. Carry a microphone at all times.

Dear Fuckwits At NPR...

 From NPR: Right = Left So Can't We All Get Along, No We Can't Because Of Those Crazy Liberals
All I can really be certain of is that NPR has become utterly worthless for political opinion. If you want to see a prime example of the 'media elites' who believe that the greatest failure of our current political system was to slash social spending and still believe that "the great middle of America wants compromise on taxes and deficits" (i.e. the completely uninformed) because cracked extremists are worried about global warming, nukes or whatever crazy stuff they dream up in their fevered liberal imaginations....look no further than NPR.org.

Rant #2: I left a comment on that page as well: "Demographic trends with a dressing of infuriating, false-equivalence blithering that a six-year old child could see through. And exactly why NPR is going the way of CNN. Of course, Global Warming, climate change, guns-actually-kill-you, and evolution are no longer facts, they are "controversies" that NPR dare not touch less it lose a pfennig of its funding. Which, in all likelihood, it is populated by the kind of inside-the-beltway/slash-the-deficit journalism that gave us two wars and two occupations and failed to noticed the build-up of the last 2 or 3 financial bubbles. (Last years report on the 'disability mafia' being another example.) Another example of the sorry state of this nation--the only way one can claim to be serious is to assume that the reactionaries have something to say. After being wrong about everything for the past 30 years. 
"