The Age of Information Saturation

1. Immerse the brain in a solution.
2. Add information until saturated.
3. Gradually add more information until information precipitate forms.
4. Leave brain in solution for 40-50 years.
5. Brain is just as stupid as when it came in.
6. Apply for grant on gender-bathroom-equality or clean coal.

Chinese Abortionocracy

by THE ECHOCHAMBER


We all know that above all things liberals love abortion. It is more dear to them, even, than food stamps or welfare queens living it up in Harlem or school teachers even. But just as I thought it was safe in Godly South Asia (love the kebabs), now even there the liberals are there, fist-deep in blood and uterine matter and gleefully aborting girl babies. That's right, baby girls.

You might ask, how the deuce is this the fault of liberals? Well it isn't--except that they created modern medicine which is being used in ways I disapprove of. Soon I'm people will come to their sense and we shall rid ourselves of these left-wing Dr. Frankensteins who insist upon playing Prometheus with the Will of Heaven. And of course they will burn in hell for all eternity. (Goes without saying.)

But what if people start practicing sex-selective abortion here? Without girls, there will be too many boys, and dire consequences to follow: A shortage (or surplus) of food, rampaging gay marriage mobs in the streets, and a severe lack of tender caresses. (In other words, a lot like being married.)

But the worst part is that those of us lucky enough to find wives will have to constantly appreciate them. The costs of appreciating women have already pushed this country to the verge of economic catastrophe! And there's no end to pleasing them! My credit line is already dry and I'm mortgaged to the hilt! For God's sake!

So. Anyway, in my next column I shall detail a number of remedies for this potential problem which may well never happen, but serves a wonderful purpose: Anytime a filthy hippie asks me, "What about the capital punishment, the poor, the hungry, the helpless, the disabled, the sightless, the toothless, the hearingless, the see and hear too muches, the casualties of war and pollution and toxic waste and global warming? What of them?"

And all I have to say is, "Abortion." And all is right with my world. Geez, it's really hot today, isn't it?




#abortion

Several States Mandate Distribution And Use Of Morphine: "Life Too Painful In Our State", Say Legislators

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/27/us/27abortion.html

In a move which has dismayed many across the nation, state legislatures in Nebraska, Idaho, Indiana, Oklahoma, and Arkansas have passed legislation requiring the distribution of morphine to every state resident. In addition, residents will undergo mandatory drug testing to ensure that they are indeed on drugs. Stated Senator Mike Johanns of Nebraska: "It's simply a matter of compassion. The grim and bleak living hell that pervades every second of being alive in Nebraska demands that we take action. You think we like looking at endless rows of corn fields every god damn day? Hell no!"




The Anti Pain Council Of America has furthermore urged that such requirements be extended to the unborn fetus, stating in a press release, "We have firm biological evidence that the unborn fetus can feel pain at 20 weeks, and therefore recommend that all pregnant women take additional morphine for the sake of their unborn child. We don't know what the heck is going on in there. There are no books or toys--that kid could be really, really bored. We can't let issues of whether not it might kill the mother stand in the way of compassionate pain reduction for all, including the unborn."

160 Million and Counting - NYTimes.com

160 Million and Counting - NYTimes.com

As alwasys, there is no factoid Mr. Douthat is unable to bend into an argument for his 'side', couched in a snide, barely concealed loathing for anyone who disagrees. To quote our president: "Well done, sir." Hopefully George F. Will will snuff it in the near future so you can assume his mantle.

Word Count: The Fun New Game For The Kids!

First, you type your words! Then you count the words! Then--you try to beat that record! It's

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Currently suffering from a lack of outrage. Shall resume wasting the rest of my life on my blog when outrage level reaches sufficient levels. Or I find some crack. Whichever comes first.

Man Intends To Start Batman Fan Forum So That He Can Ban People From It