foreign people news: cameron promises 'kinder, gently buttfucking', 'end to that fucking dragon in the park'

david cameron promises 'brighter, aspirational future with kinder, gentler, buttfucking'

-news from those across the sea


In news from those strange foreign people in their strange foreign land, it is reported that their leader, known as "Cameron", aka "Dave", has promised his people (assuming they exist), "a newer, brighter, aspiration future with a kindler, gentler, buttfucking." The buttfucking of the populace, he declared, "Will not be the harsh buttfucking of austerity, want, and privation, but rather well-lubricated buttfucking with a gentle, sensitive reach-around which might even yield pleasing results for all parties involved. Also, I promise to finally get rid of that fucking dragon living in Hyde Park. We all know he's been costing the NHS millions to have his scales cleaned and we are reasonably certain that he just flew here from Serbia without a visa." something. " The man known as Cameron then went outside to seek a citizen willing to engage with his administration in a mutual effort to implement the kinder-gentler-buttfuck proposal. At last report, no such person had been found.

#davidcameron
#uk
#election
#dragon
#hydepark
#buttfuck

branding russell brand

above: completely ir-
relevant photo of
80's actress Rachel Ward.
So at least you have a
picture to look at. There
was at least one thing
interesting on this blog.
Tell your friends

on branding russell brand 

The burning question: Is Russell Brand actually 'funny'. (And of course by 'funny', we are denoting the intentional stimulation (giggity) of a humours response. In other words, is Brand actually comedic, witty, capable of knocking out a a clever quip at nearly any given moment, the sort of gift that makes all women swoon and all men want to bash him with a cricket bat?) Obviously the answer is a resounding yay -- even if we judge this quality sheerly by the number of women he has fucked.

Of course, he has to has something going for him, or no one would pay attention to anything he said. Not that that makes him a good person. (Yes, I checked this fact with my fact-checker, Captain Obvious, and he said that I was completely, utterly correct, so don't even fucking think about contradicting me. Or even leaving a comment on my blog. Or even reading my blog. No one does.) Plenty of evil people can crack a joke. Historians have long known that Hitler started out as a juggler in the bierpalast of Vienna in order to support his art school education; Josef Stalin was a knife-thrower in a circus before becoming a crusader for the revolution; and even Mao did some stand up comedy in his early days. But don't take my word for it (no one does): Simply watch american tv any Sunday morning and watch them insult their audience as "sinners" -- then pirouette on a dime, and out comes the begging bowl. Pretty good racket if you can pull it off. And with the megachurch, the audience comes to you. Really saves a lot of fuss and bother at the airport. The point is, I've always had a perverse fascination with loathsome, manipulative creeps who can treat women like shit and they keep coming back for more. Or maybe it's a perverse envy. Had a 10 cassette lecture series, Unleash Your Inner Creep, but lost it back in '88. Still looking.- dead rodent typing



#televangelism
#hitlerhitlerhitler!
#russellbrand