Sunday, September 13, 2015

The Privileged Poor Versus The Not-So-Privileged Poor: Quelle Difference?

What is the difference between private-prep-school attending students versus the not-so-private? I'm not entirely certain, but I suspect, 'learning to be an expert social-climbing licker-of-asses' could account for well over 50% of the variance.

As a sociologist, I study this new diversity at elite colleges. I call lower-income undergraduates who graduated from private high schools the privileged poor. Although they receive excellent educations, my research shows that their ability to navigate the informal social rules that govern elite college life is what really gives them advantages relative to their lower-income peers who did not attend elite high schools, those whom I call the doubly disadvantaged. Although also academically gifted and driven, they enter college with less exposure to the unsaid expectations of elite academic settings. They adjust, but acclimating to the social side of academic life takes time, potentially limiting their access to institutional resources and social networks. Naturally, this framework does not encompass every student, but it does help to explain why students from similarly disadvantaged backgrounds navigate the same college so differently (

I'm fairly certain that this is a completely new phenomenon never mentioned before in science or literature, as poverty was invented by Franklin Delano Roosevelt as part of the New Deal he made with the race of lizard-aliens who crash landed near the South Pole (probably around the onset of teh Bronze Age) and have been living in giant caverns under the Antarctic ice ever since. (And that is why we rarely see them, before you ask, so shut your damn yapper and stop asking questions with obvious answers.)

Evidence? Evidence, you say? Pah! There was a documentary about them! However, it had to be marketed as 'fiction', because the truth would have been too much to handle. Just imagine them, sitting there, the naive, silly souls, mindlessly munching on buttered popcorn with all the intelligence of a cow chewing on regurgitated grass for 12 hours per day--then suddenly discovering that the world is not as they believed! That they have been lied to their entire lives! Everything they had ever been taught was a lie taught by deluded liars! And then what would have happened? That's right! Would have blown their fucking minds!

 We can only imagine but there is no doubt in my mind that an immediate mass hysteria would have broken out, children crying for no reason, women throwing away their shoes, shooting massacres caused by men dressed as comic, mobs engaging in cannibalism, men in black dancing with men in white (don't ask don't tell, as we used to say), unfortunates being devoured alive, the lucky ones dying quickly with heads and spines ripped straight out of their bodies with the incredible strength of [viking thing, super aggressive bx ?], fortunate enough to only experience one second of horrible horrible pain--seen in the horror of their eyes by the beserk-ed ones, much to their glee--smashed skulls  and brains eaten or even put in blended and juiced and then mixed with highly distilled aged liquors and unmentionable horrors! Which for obvious reasons I won't mention here.

Eventually this town will get a lot quieter and there will be much less traffic, though.

#education, #LickingAss

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