"But I still have the tax returns somewhere," said the beloved Daily Show host in a public statement. Americans seemed unconvinced. "How can I trust a man who doesn't have every number he's ever used?" cried out Fox News Bloviator Bill O'Reilly, shrieking in a howl of pain and horror like a wounded animal trying to crawl to a warm hole in which to die. "Would you trust a man who doesn't ask us to kill abortionists and loses receipts?" Another man who refused to give his name fell to his knees upon hearing that news and screamed, "NOT. GOOD. ENOUGH." He then began knashing his teeth and pulling tore out his hair, waving at imagined demons and shouted, "This isn't topical!"
Monday, January 4, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Something from Somewhere about Someone or Somebody.
An obit of economist Paul Samuelson,regarding former pupil (and ex-Ayn Rand devotee) Milton Friedman: "You can take the boy out of the cult, but you can't take the cult out of the boy."
And they say scientists can't be funny--au contraire! In fact, Benny Hill was an MIT drop-out. In an interview from 2001, Samuelson recalled him fondly: "He was a very promising candidate, and his idea of employing 20th century topologies as a tool to incorporate human behavior into an all-embracing theory of market dynamnics and sociology seemed at one time to hold great promise, but his dissertation was never completed. Turned out the old chap was actually just sitting in his office for days on end, drawing nipples in the margins of academic journals and making obscene phone calls to Vassar.
http://deadrodentyping.blogspot.com
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Movies News: Summer 2010
more crap this summer
Anthony Hopkins returns as Hannibal Lector in "Hannibal Versus The Werewolves." We can look forward to good Doctor, a strapping 72 years of age, taking out a heavily armed Special Air Service platoon with a safety razor, some dental floss and a moss-covered pavement stone. Kevin McKidd is the only survivor and epilogue headline reads, "Old Guy Shaved Our Balls To The Wall!"
Ben Kingsley's legion of enthusiasts will love the return of this ham that won't die in Elegy2:2Elegiac2Furious. We will all look forward to crying at this moving scene, with the lovely Consuela afflicted with cancer (again).
Really Old Dude to Penelope Cruz: Consuela, you can't do [breast cancer] this alone (again). Penelope Cruz to really old dude: Will you still fuck me if I lose my of my breasts? Really Old Dude: Are you shitting me? I'm Ben Fucking Kingsley, the greatest actor in the world! I can grab a 17 year old strumpet with TWO TITS any day of the week! Luck with the whole cancer thing!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Hello, I am Prince Nambooku of Nigeria.
I need a generous American spirit to help me transfer cash to Citibank in order that I may blow up one of your wonderful commercial airliners full of godless heretics. Thank you hellbound Satanists and I pray that Allah may watch over you always.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Old Cunt Wants Her Tits!
http://technorati.com/tag/health-care
Selma Crudgewinkle, aged 80, and life-long resident of Supine Illinois is angry. Angry about health reform. "I need my tits, you fucking commie bastards!" she screamed at her congressman earlier this year. Will the government try to steal her mammograms and her tits? Write now to your congressional representative and demand that ALL of our tits be saved, that mammograms start early and never end, because nothing matters more than a disease which is nearly untreatable and certainly is not curable.
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