Wednesday, May 25, 2016

chapter1.11 - an offer you can't afford


the mCsituation

The sound of text alerts suddenly rang out through the group. "My husband, he's alive!" shouted one survivor. "My child is alive!" cried another. As it turned out, everyone was disappointed, as they had all received the same spam text:

Support the Eevellary Bintonion presidential campaign by offering will give them a discount on "Uterus Card" t-shirts*.*5% discount on all purchases made through www.eevellaryisthegreatest.com****Discount does not apply to sales tax, shipping costs, or transaction fees, or any other costs******Discount only applies to orders over 10,000**********No guarantee on availability of size, color, durability or quality, so expect a freight train of XX-small orange and purple tees which will stain all of your other clothing before the fabric itself dissolves water****************100% 'handling' surcharge on all ordersKudos! #YouAreWithHer!

Van Bilge was puzzled by the message. "Hmm, what's a 'uterus card' and why do I want one? Is that like an organ transplant because, you know, I'm pretty sure I don't need one. In fact I don't think anyone needs one. Or do they? Kudos! (whatever those are, you can have all of my kudos as they seem to be invisible and functionless) (might be like neutrinos but I'm not sure what those are either but they are very very small, I've been told so they could be like the same thing or, um, some thing. Hmmm.)"

Fortunately, no one was paying any attention to him, due to what just had appeared on the monitor.

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