Saturday, March 19, 2016

chapter 1.03: #thanksobtuso

chapter 1.03: #thanksobtuso

The mysterious operative apologized profusely for coughing before the president of the more-or-less-free-world. "Mr. President, let me apologize on behalf of my sooty and revolting phlegm-congested lungs. It is not their fault I have abused them with a lifetime of tobacco abuse."

"That's okay, I do understand how hard it is to quit. My own lungs are seldom perfectly clear," replied the president. He then chuckled at his quip.

"Mr. President, if these were not such perilous times, I would reach down my throat and rip out my bronchial tubes out and present them to you at his very moment! However--".  Adam interrupted himself. He craned his neck just a bit towards the president, and in a barely audible (yet highly dramatic) whisper, added, "--these times are far too perilous for me to go without my bronchii."

"Thought that counts. "

"Someday you will have them, Mr. President. This I promise you. But not till my destiny is fulfilled. Or I my retirement papers go through, my wife is really counting on that to supplement her pension. One does not acquire great wealth teaching kindergarten."

"I am honored," replied the president. "But I think what America awaits an inspirational speech of hope, faith and healing. Hey, I can do it right from my meFone." Suddenly, before anyone could do anything, the phone was out and the president and begun a live stream video. 

"Noooooooo!", cried his aide, leaping through the air.

But it was too late.

"My fellow Americans..." began President Obtuso, speaking to the nation, "this is a time for faith, hope, and healing..." 

The president's aide glanced nervously out the window at the eerily quiet mob, which was pressed up to the very outer walls.  I wonder if the Army would loan me a helicopter. Hmm. Probably not. 

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