In his new tell-all behind-scenes-memoir, Dick Cheney confesses that he had an untreated addiction to "just bomb the shit out of someone". He also admits that he had had prostate difficulties for many years and could only ejaculate while reading CIA torture memorandums. He also professes to being a "huge" Lady Gaga fan, taking umbrage with many of her devotees. "I was the original Little Monster," he cries on page 236. He also admits that his dream birthday would be a performance by Lady Gaga herself at his party, and a pony.