Local teacher attains succes by succumbing to mediocrity.

Local high school teacher Margo Samson came home and reported to her husband, Richard, that "I've finally succumbed to complete mediocrity and mental oblivion." In spite of years of trying to teach remedial reading to apathetic, lazy students who only read text ciphers sent via their cellphones, Ms. Samson received a below-average performance evaluation from the principal of her school, who scolded her for "failing to implement collaborative learning techniques." The principal directed her to the state education department website, which demonstrated how to implement collaborative learning in groups of students using a Kleenex, some wads of cotton and used gum found under a desk. Said Ms. Samson, "Fuck it--I'll just have the lazy bastards circle jerk with their cellphones all day till I get my MBA."