Lovecraft on Love

When I was discussing "The Unnameable Horror", I was for the most part thinking about online dating (which I assumed would be accomplished via telepathy with the demons of the underworld, but either way, rather prescient of me, eh?) Or maybe I mostly speaking of my horrible, horrible fear of vaginas. My father was sucked in headfirst and was never seen again upon the face of the Earth. Briefly he struggled, up to his shoulders, but then the tentacles emerged and it was all over. Not the sort of thing a young lad should witness. My mother denied it, but isn't that what one would expect her to say? Very well, I must return to the Underworld. (And by the by, if you happen to glance an elf-maiden gadding about, let me know, she made off with my left ventricle and I don't believe she's going to bring it back.)

Yours in Perpetual Fear,
H.P. Lovecraft

Digital Emetic. If this rodent reached out its little paw, would this kitten retract it's tiny claws?

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Palm.Pre: 'We're not dead yet.'

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Ten thousand maniacs? More like ten thousand well-regulated militias!

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The.Secret.Life.Of.Boys:Books. 'Well mostly we wank.'

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Secret lives of boys!:Well, we wank incessantly and beat-upon anyone who's gay or into tolkien. We also date-r..e tr

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Murder, She Clogged.

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Secret lives of boys. Well, we masturbate incessantly and beat anyone who's gay or into tolkien. We also date-rape

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Taliban-Pakistan romance really, really over, swears pakistan.

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Tarantino promotes kill bill legos

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Bill O'Reilly Not Responsible For Anything O'Reilly Says Or Does.

In a brief statement to news media, Mr. O'Reilly declared: "I am not responsible for the words that come out of my mouth and onto the airwaves. I have never in my life attempted to influence the thoughts or actions of anyone in the world. I am only on TV for one reason: I am a narcissistic media whore who will say or do anything to get the most attention, money and power I possibly can. I have never cared one whit, one fig, or a single fig/whit offspring, for making the world a better place or enriching anyone other than myself. So I am not, repeat not responsible for anything I say. It's just freedom of fucking speech, pal."

No one in the world was at all surprised by this statement, except for a Mr. Singh of Punjabi, who said, "Who the ***** is Bill O'Reilly?"

Man Still Unable To Get Date-Raped.

"Geez, I even bring my own ruffies, put them in my drink, and still nothing."

Aphasic Cinema Reviews

Fuck Me To Hell (U.S., 2009)

Good lord, what a misleading title. No sex and for that matter not even any bare breasts-nary even a dog's nipple. Frankly I'm disgusted that Hollywood continues to employ highly misleading advertising. I haven't been this misled since I went to see Steel Vaginas. For shame, once noble Hollywood. For shame.

Yours truly,
Aphantasia.